Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Miss Information misses the big picture

Last August, the library got a shipment of brand new ceiling tiles. Since then, they have been sitting in the storage room. Miss Information thinks they would look better in the ceiling, but what the hell does she know?

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Miss Information is surprisingly chatty

Miss Information just bored an old guy patron witless with an enthusiastic but pointless and longwinded oration entitled: Microform Readers We Have Owned in the Library. She went into surprisingly endless detail about the old machines vs the new machines, which, although they are chronologically older than the old machines are in fact, more user friendly than the old machines which were higher tech, but more confusing to the ordinary microfilm customer, where they came from, where the old ones are, library policy concerning microform materials, and on and on.

The poor fellow had just asked where the power switch was. That'll teach him to ask questions when Miss Information is high on caffeine.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Miss Information misses an opportunity to be annoyed

Sadly, Miss Information was working the day shift this Wednesday thus missing the inspiring moment when a customer ignored the elevator's clearly posted Out of Order sign and became hopelessly trapped. Right at closing time.

Miss Information sends sympathy out to her colleagues working that evening.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Miss Information is annoyed by parents

It is Screaming Child Day at the library. And Miss Information totally forgot to attend Screaming Child Eve festivities. Slipped her mind completely.

Right this minute a screaming toddler is sitting opposite the Reference Desk where Miss Information is doomed to spend the rest of her natural life. Said toddler (honestly, why do people keep producing more of these creatures?) has dropped all of its personal effects on the floor.

Instead of picking them up, its mother has given the child one of the library's precious computer keyboards to play with/pound on/destroy.

Miss Information hates this style of parenting.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

Miss Information has an annoying Saturday

A charming urchin (how Miss Information loves children!) aged about 4 or 5 approched the desk.

"Do you got money?" he asked.

What an adorable child! Thanks for asking. Miss Information has a savings account, a diversified portfolio, a sensible retirement plan, and a bunch of cash stashed in her sock drawer just in case and a fairly secure job so she's doing ok financially. So sweet of you to be concerned, dear heart.

"I want money," the youngster continued.

Honestly, kids today! Do you see what Miss Information is doing here? She's working. It isn't enough to want money (god knows if it were, she'd never get out of bed) you actually have to earn money.

Miss Information gave him a shove in the direction of the financial planning books.

Later that day, as if life could get any more annoying, the big, scary, racist guy who was once banned from library premises for being a big, scary, racist guy told Miss Information that she was looking really good.

Well, that's just fucking fantastic. She is aware that she's a fine example of Aryan womanhood, but being hit on by big, scary, racist guys is simply too depressing for words.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Miss Information is annoyed by passive aggressive regulars

Miss Information likes it when people get directly to whatever stupid point they're trying to make. It saves a lot of time and energy. Besides, it usually means that she can do whatever you want her to do and return quickly to her preferred method of whiling away the work hours--you know, not having idiotic conversations with the customers.

Anyway, Guy-With-The-Eighties-Hair, you are here every damn day. You know how things work. You think those high school kids are making too much noise? Excellent. Miss Information is always willing to embarrass high school boys in front of their friends. (She does have some unresolved issues...) All you have to do is ask.

Instead of that you come to the desk and ask if this is "still a quiet study area". Listen up, pal, Miss Information is the sarcastic one in this relationship. You are a mere amateur in comparison. In addition, you must understand that phrasing the question that way makes her want to invite a mariachi band to perform live at the Reference Desk just to annoy you.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Miss Information is not annoyed by a cell phone user

This actually happened. Miss Information was speaking with a patron when the woman’s cell phone rang. The customer took the phone out of her pocket and actually turned it off. Really. Apparently those things really do have an off setting. Usually library users just stand at the reference desk and catch up with their friends while poor Miss Information is stuck trying to locate obscure statistics on the immigration of basket weavers during the potato famine without anyone paying any attention to her. And all she really wants is to be included in their conversations...

Of course she did bump her head really really hard on a book truck yesterday and there is a minute possibility she has a concussion or is delirious, but she prefers to believe that this is the start of a new exciting trend of civility among cell phone users.

Or is she insane?