Thursday, September 13, 2012

Miss Information is annoyed by not being on vacation

Miss Information was on vacation for a few weeks and it was nice, dammit. She came back to work last Thursday because she had some committee meetings to go to. (Note to all: Don't cut your vacations short to attend meetings.  This is just a bad idea.) Of course, Thursday morning she woke up with a sore throat and by the second meeting it had developed into the Bubonic plague, or West Nile, or something.

Fortunately, her usual cure--a three-day Doctor Who marathon with occasional PopTarts--worked wonders and she's now back at work in time for the semi-annual fire drill. Miss Information knows that it's necessary but she hates them anyway. She successfully evacuated herself and along with a cup of tea and it was a nice day but still annoying. Miss Information has a tonne of work to catch up on, you know.

After the fire drill, Miss Information worked at the desk where she encountered an evil troll named Dolly. Terrible name for an evil troll, by the way. Dolly was phoning because she needed to confirm that her holds had been placed successfully. She'd called earlier but the fire drill had interrupted before she was finished.

Dolly, like so many library patrons, has an obsession. Dolly enjoys novels about the Tudors, specifically Catharine of Aragon. She asked Miss Information to find her some books. Unfortunately Dolly wanted to argue about everything, particularly about Catherine of Aragon who is long dead and doesn't need any more help. Dolly also wants to know why the library catalogues everything so badly, which is another pointless argument. She was very unpleasant and also had short term memory problems.

This is the way the conversation progressed:

Miss Information: Here's one about Catharine of Aragon called Bride of Henry. It was written by Joe McTudor.

Dolly: Bride of Henry?

Miss I: That's right. The author is Joe McTudor.

Dolly: What's the subject?

Miss I: Catharine of Aragon (because really, this is what Dolly asked for)

Dolly: What's the title?

Miss I: Bride of Henry, by Joe McTudor.

Dolly: Who's the author?

Miss I: Joe McTudor.

Dolly: It's about Catharine of Aragon?

Me: Yep.

Dolly: What's it called?

This exact same conversation went on for each of the seven books in the catalogue. Dolly also challenged the content of several of the books which Miss Information has no way of fixing. Miss Information concluded that Dolly was probably an old dear who was having some age-related memory problems, but no, Dolly turns out to be only a year older than Miss Information--who is ageing but nowhere near senile yet.

Miss Information finally got off the phone with Dolly and headed for the parking lot where she tripped over a ramp, sprained her ankle, skinned her knee and hurt her arm.

So, basically, the fire drill was the highlight of the day.