Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Miss Information is annoyed by the bad tempered

"But why not?" asked the woman after Miss Information told her that the library has no video tape of the volanic eruption on Krakatoa.

Hmmmmm...Anderson Cooper was busy that day? The volcano and subsequent tsunami rendered everyone's cell phone camera useless? The network satellites were in the shop?

Miss Information explained as gently as possible that there simply weren't too many video cameras in 1883 Indonesia, movie cameras not having been perfected until later in the decade.

Still, despite her critical thinking shortcomings the woman was relentlessly pleasant. She loved books, the library, learning stuff, disasters and Miss Information thoroughly enjoyed the conversation.

Good thing too. Everyone else in library had spread peanut butter and cranky on their morning toast.

Miss Information admits it. She initially gave the man the wrong answer. She corrected herself, oh, maybe 30 seconds later. He was in no danger of being permanently damaged by Miss Information's misinformation. That didn't stop him from berating her at length for her incompetence and high salary(?).

There was also the woman who yelled at Miss Information because she was taking too long booking her a computer. "You can't go any faster? I'm on somebody's cell phone and you're taking forever."

Slow and incompetent...and free for dinner at short notice.

On the whole, Miss Information has decided that she prefers dealing with the dimwitted, pleasant customers over the bad tempered smart people. Obviously her least favourite are the cranky idiots--a category which is becoming dangerously overpopulated.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Miss Information hates the summer

Today, Miss Information witnessed a lengthy exchange between a patron and one of her colleagues. The patron insisted that a third colleague had intentionally misled her about the availability of a video--uhm because he's an evil bastard who likes jerking people around or something.

No amount of discussion could convince the woman that she was the victim of a run of the mill misunderstanding.

Miss Information realized that stabbing the woman would be more productive use of her colleague's time.

This is why the knives are kept on another floor of the library.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Miss Information doesn't have a leg to stand on

Miss Information is laid up with a knee injury. She fell off her shoes. It's ok to laugh. Such cute shoes. Such a shiny floor. Such pain.

In any case, she's sticking to flats until her mobility returns. This has given her a lot of time to look longingly at the feet of others. She must now provide this public service message to the men of the world:

Miss Information appreciates that sometimes one must wear shorts and running shoes--when running for example. However it is never, ever, ever ok to wear dress socks and shorts. Particularly black dress socks. This is just a really bad look.

Also, sandals and socks? Bad idea. Flip flops and socks? Just don't. Ever.

Summer is really short. Take off your damn socks and enjoy it.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Miss Information is tired of having this conversation

It was a beautiful summer day. The library was quiet and peaceful. All the computers were vacant. Miss Information was getting caught up on her looseleaf filing. Then she woke up, got dressed and went to work where it was a beautiful summer day. The earsplitting shrieks of children filled the air. People are stacked up on the computers like cans of soup. Miss Information had a headache.

A thousand times a day she gets to have this conversation:

Patron: I'd like to use the Internet.
Miss I: All the terminals are in use right now. You can book an appointment if you want.
Patron: I just need it for a couple of minutes.
Miss I: Oh, well, that's totally different, then. The computers that you can use for "just a couple of minutes" are in a secret part of the library that the children don't know about...no, wait, that's wrong. There are still no terminals available.

Miss Information wishes everyone would just go home now.