Miss Information

Miss Information is annoyed by the phone company

Miss Information has briefly taken a break from her "not being annoyed" sabbatical to be really annoyed at a phone service provider.

Long story. Miss Information’s mother moved and now Miss Information would like to cancel her mother’s old landline. Easy, right. Except that Miss Information’s least favourite thing about adulting is making phone calls. Still, has to be done.

The history is that it was Mrs Information’s phone for many years. Briefly, because of some complication, it was the phone number associated with Miss Information’s sister’s business. Then it reverted back to a residential phone but since Miss Information was handling her mother’s finances, it was switched into her name.

When her mother’s house was sold recently and she was making all the cancellation phone calls, she contacted the Giant Conglomerate Phone Company:

Miss Information: Hello, I want to cancel this landline.

Giant Conglomerate Phone Company: Huh. That account is attached to a cell phone that’s been cancelled.

Miss I: Oh, right. I did have a cell phone account with you but I switched providers. I just want to cancel the landline though.

GCPC: But your account is cancelled.

Miss I: The landline still exists but I want to cancel it.

GCPC: But you don’t have an account.

Miss I: Ok, but I’ve been paying the phone bill and I want to stop doing that.

GCPC: It looks like a business account. I will transfer you.

GCPC: Business Support. How can I help you?

Miss I: Hello, I want to cancel this landline.

GCPC: Yeah. Ok. That number is connected to a cell phone that’s been cancelled.

Miss I: Yes, I did have a mobile account with you but I switched providers. I just want to cancel the landline though.

GCPC: But your account is already cancelled.

Miss I: I only cancelled my cell phone. The landline still exists but I want to cancel it.

GCPC: But you don’t have an account.

Miss I: Ok, but I’ve been paying the phone bill and I want to stop doing that. There’s an account number on the bill. Will that help? [gives number]

GCPC: Oh, I see. That’s not a business account number. That’s an account number for a home phone.

Miss I: Right. I already talked to them. They transferred me to you because they couldn’t help.

GCPC: Oh, they can totally help you, just call them back.

So, yes, the Business Department Guy gave helpful advice but Miss Information couldn’t handle talking to the residential people again. She will try tomorrow or the next day, maybe next Monday at the latest.

Several weeks later she tries again:

Miss I: Hello, I want to cancel this landline.

GCPC: Yeah. Ok. That number is connected to a cell phone that’s been cancelled.

Miss I: Yes, I know. I did have a cell phone account with you but I switched providers. I just want to cancel the landline though. It should have been put in my name.

GCPC: But the account with your name was closed.

Miss I: Ok but the landline still exists and I want to cancel it.

GCPC: But you don’t have an account.

Miss I: Ok, but I’ve been paying the phone bill and I want to stop doing that. At one point it was a business phone, but the business department told me to talk to you.

GCPC: I can’t figure out what’s going on. In the meantime, can I interest you in an Internet and TV package?

Miss I: No thanks. I’m happy with my provider. Really I just want to cancel this landline and stop paying the bills for a phone that no longer exists.

GCPC: But our Internet and TV is way better and less money than whoever your provider is now.

Miss I: Just cancel the phone.

GCPC: This is weird. I just don’t understand what’s happening with this account. Maybe it was with the Small Business people. I’ll consult with a colleague. Hold the line, please.

GCPC: Small Business consultant. I see your account here.

Miss I: Great. I want to cancel it.

GCPC: Are you [sister’s name]?

Miss I: No, my sister did have the phone number in her name at one point but it should be in mine now.

GCPC: Well, at one time it was associated with a mobile account which has been closed.

Miss I: Yes, that was my account. I changed providers for my cell phone. I just want to cancel the landline though.

GCPC: No, no, no. Your name is not on the account. [Sister’s name] is the only one who can do this. Let me talk to her.

Miss I: I’m at work. She's also at work...in another part of the city.

GCPC: Well. That’s no good. I can’t cancel it without talking to her since it’s her phone.

Miss I: (mutters under her breath) Hasn't been her phone for years. Listen, I know there’s money outstanding. At least let me pay that.

GCPC: You’re not on the account. I can’t tell you anything about the bill.

Miss I: I’ve been paying the phone bill for years, though. Can’t you let me know how much I owe you? I want to give you money.

GCPC: Not a chance. [Sister’s name] is the only one I can speak to about this.

Miss I: Cool, cool. Great. I'll tell her.

GCPC: By the way, did my colleague tell you about our great Internet and TV packages? Much cheaper than whatever you're paying now.

Miss I: Sounds awesome. I’ll consider it.

Narrator: Miss Information was lying just then. She will never consider doing business with them again.

posted by Miss Information @ 5:38 PM