Saturday, August 15, 2015

Miss Information is annoyed by renovations

The staff area in Miss Information's branch has recently had its washroom upgraded. She hates the changes. Obviously. 

Because the gym change room is inhabited by 6 year olds who DO NOT WANT TO GO SWIMMING, Miss Information often uses that washroom to change from her work clothes into her gym clothes. Her first indication that she and the washroom reno were not going to be friends came when she shook out her yoga pants, accidentally triggered the soap dispenser and had to go to the gym wearing extremely soapy pants. 

So, the soap dispenser is now her mortal enemy but the paper towel dispenser is...what's worse than a mortal enemy--an immortal enemy? She's convinced that it might have the soul of a long dead mime or something. That's how annoying it is. It's handsfree like the soap dispenser. Unfortunately this means Miss Information triggers it by breathing, by moving slightly or by simply existing. It also triggers when she tears off a length of paper towel so the next person ends up with about a metre of towelling. 

Yesterday when she filled the kettle (there's no kitchen in the department so she has to use the washroom), she managed to leave a pile of soap and enough towels to make a tent on the floor. 

So, yeah, she's not adapting to this change very well. 

Monday, July 20, 2015

Miss Information has a difficult break up.

Miss Information has had the same cell phone company for a really long time. The salesperson who set up her account initially was a Brachiosaurus. 

Anyway, Miss Information is tired of people mocking her antique phone. Also, she would like data. So, she begins researching the thorny problem. She studies and researches and reads and thinks and asks everyone she knows, then she does some more research. She discovers this: all cell phone plans are basically the same. Some have a lower monthly fee but a higher phone charge. Some have this much data and this many minutes. Others have these minutes and that much data. Some charge this much for going over and some charge that much. When you add up the various details, it comes out to exactly the same price per month--give or take some loose change. Miss Information thinks for a couple more weeks and decides to go with a place that will give her a cool phone and also a whack of bonus grocery points. 

The actual getting of the new phone is pretty simple. She tells the salesguy  what she wants (she's done enough research to be the salesperson at this point); he very helpfully gets it for her and sets up the transfer of her new number. It takes about 10 minutes. 

The guy assures her that she can make calls right away but it might take a few hours for the new phone to get calls....something about getting released from the old contract. 

Miss Information waits 24 hours and still can't get calls. She phones the new people. It's all good on their end. The extremely nice call centre person says that the old guys haven't released her number and she transfers Miss Information to them.

Miss Information tells that nice call centre person that she's got a contract with someone else and she needs her number. He proceeds to offer her awesome stuff to stay (basically, the exact same deal as every other cell company). Miss Information lets him down gently. They've grown apart. She's not the same person any more and she's found someone new. They can still be friends. It's not them, it's her.

Call centre guy thinks she's making a mistake and begs her to stay. She asks for the release of her phone number. He says her phone number is not portable. (This was true when she first got the phone but about a decade ago all phone numbers became portable.) She questions him. 

He tells her that there's a little radio box he needs to click to make her phone number portable but he's not going to do it until she's sure it over between them. Now Miss Information threatens a restraining order. He clicks the button. 

She needs to decompress with coffee. On her way, she gets an actual text! Her phone has been activated. It's going to be the start of a beautiful friendship.

Thursday, July 09, 2015

Miss Information is tired of the summer drama

So, the day after "unbelievable" woman, a coworker came to speak with Miss Information. She looked stressed. 

"That customer can't log into his Facebook. He's very upset. He's sent an email to them asking them to sort it out. Is there anything we can do?"

Miss Information thinks not but asks the customer what kind of an error message he's getting. He offers to show her. While they are at the computer, he goes into detail. His account works from his phone. His account works from his friend's laptop. His account does not work from the library or from the nearby hotel. 

"What am I going to do?" the man asks. "It's a tragedy!"

The FB error message is odd considering that the man can access his account on some devices. Still, it's a FB problem. There is nothing Miss Information can do about it. 

"Can't someone fix it? It's a tragedy!"

Miss Information assures the man that the people at FB are on the case and will be in touch with him.

"'s a tragedy! What am I going to do?"

Ok, pal, Miss Information has had it with you. Syria is a tragedy. What you have here is a completely minor inconvenience. There are subtleties here that you are failing to grasp.

When does summer end?

Wednesday, July 08, 2015

The woman is right. It is unbelievable.

Miss Information is back from a couple of weeks off and she's fielding a question about eBooks. The library only has an eBook copy of the item the woman wants. This is usually the point where a patron gets snippy about the library forgetting its roots and ignoring the old people who don't like technology. This woman is not one of those. She's cool with eBooks, if only she knew how to use her Android device to read eBooks...

Not a problem. Miss Information is here! She generally doesn't like to get into complicated technology at the desk but she's got vacation afterglow. Anything is possible!

The woman needs the eBook app but when she tries to access Google Play, she gets an error message. 

"It's asking for a password! It never asks for a password! What do I do?"

Miss Information suggests the woman try typing in her password. 

"No! It never asks for a password! Why is it asking for a password? This is unbelievable!"

Miss Information watches the woman fumble around for a while before suggesting again that the woman enter her password. 

The woman doesn't know her password. She downloads apps all the time and never needs a password!

Um, ok but this time it wants a password. Miss Information is getting tired of the drama and asks if perhaps the woman has the password written down somewhere? At her home, far away from the library, perhaps?

"No. I don't know the password! Why is it asking? It doesn't ever ask! This is unbelievable!"

Miss Information convinces the woman that she should probably reset her password. She talks her through the first couple of steps, then excuses herself to help another patron.

When she returns...

"This is unbelievable! It's just going around in circles! Why is this happening?"

Miss Information watches the woman more closely. She gets to a point where she has the option to press continue. Instead she chooses the "reset password" button, again. The woman is right--she does keep going in circles but Google is not the problem here. 

When that crisis is solved, the app is successfully downloaded. Yee haw. The woman is prompted to create an Overdrive account. 

"Ok," Miss Information says. "All you have to do is put in your email address and a password."

"But wait," the woman says. "It says I can log in with Facebook. I want to use Facebook."

Miss Information doesn't have any experience with the Facebook option but if it will make the woman happy (and leave), then she'll give it a try. The woman clicks on the Facebook link. 

It asks her to log in to her account. 

"This is unbelievable! It wants me to log in! I can't log in!"


"I don't know my password!"

Miss Information suggests that in that case it might be better to simply create an Overdrive account.

"It says I can use Facebook! I want to use Facebook!"

Now Miss Information's desk time is up and her replacement has arrived. The woman decides that it is time to leave herself since her coffee break was technically over about 30 minutes ago. She does promise to come back, though. 

Can't wait. 

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Miss Information has no patience for this.

Ooooh. Miss Information has had it with the impatient types. Her first customer was a man who was asking about Oriana Fallaci. He was looking for her books and mentioned that he'd heard about a recent documentary about her life. The books were no problem, the library had several in stock. The documentary was another matter. 

IMDB didn't have a doc listed. Miss Information resorted to Google where she found the schedule for a February 2015 film festival that had screened the movie -- not a documentary, more of a docudrama and not available in the library. IMDB did have a listing which came up when Miss Information searched by title. It was a television movie which appears to have been released only in Italy. 

In the middle of this seemingly endless search, another patron appeared. Then she left. While Miss Information was continuing to search for the first patron, a circulation staff member came over with the woman and interrupted. "This patron is looking for a book called Stalin's Daughter--do you know where it is?"

Miss Information replied that she did not know off the top of her head but could check as soon as she finished with the man she was helping. 

The man left quickly. He didn't have to. Miss Information was totally willing to help him for hours, if it would annoy Stalin's Daughter woman. 

Miss Information quickly looked up the information. The book is high demand so the woman would have to place a request. Did she want to do that? 

Yes. Oh but could she pick it up at her local branch instead?

Miss Information said she could and asked for her library card to complete the transaction.

Oh. I don't have it with me. (Would have made it difficult to take the book out if it had been available, right?)

But never mind, Miss Information gets another piece of ID from the woman and places the hold. It maybe didn't take quite as long as the Oriana Fallaci question, but it was way more annoying. 

Why do library patrons feel like they're the most important people on earth?

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Miss Information is annoyed by print media

It is the last day of spring break, so you would think that Miss Information would be tired of children by now. You'd be right. But she is much more tired of adults. 
It is Saturday. One of the local newspapers gives the library a stack of free copies to give away. The local seniors have found out about this and Saturday mornings are getting ugly. Miss Information usually arrives at 8:30 and there's already a line. She has no idea when they start coming but by the time the library opens at 9 AM it's out of control. 
The library posts a security guard next to the stack to maintain order but someone always cuts the line and hell breaks loose. Miss Information noticed a 12 year old boy staring in wonderment at the old people shouting and pushing. It's amazing that anyone survives the Saturday morning stampede of seniors. 
Fortunately, the newspapers are gone by 9:03 and then everyone goes home, presumably to do crossword puzzles. Almost everyone goes home. A woman who cut the line and was called out by 10 other seniors and the security guard, stayed behind to protest the injustice. She spent about an hour complaining to the person in charge about the entire thing. Fortunately Miss Information was not involved except as a witness. 
In the afternoon a man asked about the library collection of newspapers. Man 1, as he shall now be known, wanted to look at today's paper. The library has cleverly hidden the newspaper shelving so few people can find it, so Miss Information got up and walked him over. There was someone else (Man 2) looking at the papers and, because it is tucked away in a corner only one person can access the collection at a time. Miss Information pointed it out to the first man and suggested he give the other person a chance to finish browsing. 
"What's he doing?" said Man 1.
Miss Information suggested that Man 2 was picking out a newspaper to read. 
"Well, he's taking too long," said Man 1. "He's in my way!"
At this point Man 2 moved out of the way, apologizing profusely. Miss Information also moved out of the way so she didn't punch someone herself. 
Shouldn't adults be better at waiting their turns?

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Miss Information is annoyed on Saturday

First of all, it's cold. Miss Information hates cold. So that's annoying. 
Second of all, it's so cold that the ticket machine in the parking lot is frozen and won't let her in until she swipes her credit card. She likes to pay cash on Saturdays because the flat rate is $5. So that's annoying. 
Third of all, it's cold inside the library. By 3:30, Miss Information has lost the feeling in her feet. It's not like she didn't wear thick socks today either. That's really annoying. 
Then there's actual work which is strange. A man in a yellow hat ( but no monkey) keeps coming in although he's been banned because he punched a random person for no apparent reason earlier in the week. Security keeps throwing him out but he keeps coming back in. If he took off the hat, no one would recognize him. 
While talking to the person in charge about Yellow Hat Guy, she disclosed that there had been a flasher in the branch in one of the other departments earlier. He was wearing a trench coat. So cliché. 
Around 3 pm, Miss Information has lost the will to live and is just trying to keep warm by snuggling up with the printer and picking out which books would make the best kindling. 
Customer: Where is the men's washroom, please?
Miss Information: There is one on the second floor and one in the basement.
Customer: I've tried them both. (he leaves)
Does he mean he tried and failed?