Why Miss Information doesn't get paid enough
There has been a lot of discussion in the media lately about overpaid public service employees and their glamorous lifestyles. It's true, Miss Information
does occasionally spring for premium ice cream but it's mainly so she doesn't go insane. Working with the public is no picnic, you know.
This week a very nice woman asked Miss Information to reserve a book for her. The name of the book?
Do It Yourself: a Step by Step Guide. Here's what Miss Information did. She refrained from any sarcastic remarks and placed the hold for the woman, who probably could have done it herself.
And that is why Miss Information deserves every cent of her pay cheque this week.
Miss Information is annoyed by Excellerators
After a protracted and annoying construction project, Miss Information's library has recently begun offering computer courses again. Oh. Joy.
The following is a typical exchange:
Patron: I want to sign up for the Excel workshop on January 31.
Miss Information: Oh, I'm afraid all of our Excel courses are full until May. I could book you for the May 11 course if you like.
Patron: How about the one on February 8?
Miss Information: Nope, that May 11 course is the next one that has spaces available. But you can sign up for it if you want.
Patron (waves schedule at Miss Information): It says here that there's an Excel course on February 24.
Miss Information: Well, yeah, there is. But I'm sorry it's already full.
Patron: How about March 21? I could come to that.
Miss Information: Sadly no. The next spot I have in an Excel course is the one on May 11. I think you should sign up for that.
Patron: Can you put me on the waiting list for January 31?
Miss Information: I'm afraid the waiting lists are also full. The next class I can sign you up for is that one on May 11.
Patron: But I need something right away.
Miss Information: That's a shame. You might want to consider another library. The Big Serious Library downtown also offers Excel courses.
Patron: That's too far!
Miss Information: So, I suppose you'll be signing up for the May 11 course then?
It wouldn't be so bad except that Miss Information had this exact conversation 10 times a day for the last week. Not to mention that these are free two-hour seminars, taught by
librarians with no teaching credentials. The level of desperation does not reflect the quality of the seminar--which is excellent, obviously, but still a two-hour seminar in Excel isn't going to turn anyone into an accountant.
Miss Information has a suggestion for IT
The IT folk showed up today for an unexpected upgrade. They don't do advance notice, apparently. This morning Miss Information was alone in the workroom, a space with 7 computers that are shared by 20-odd staff members. An IT staff member sat down at one of the other workstations in the area and started doing
something. She didn't say what but Miss Information cleverly deduced (by eavesdropping) that the operating system was getting an upgrade. Later in the morning the IT staffer turned to Miss Information and asked her if she had anything saved on the hard drive of the computer she was upgrading. Miss Information assured her that no, she had never personally saved a file on that computer's hard drive. "Well, good," said the IT woman. "Because I've already deleted all the files."
Since the workroom is shared by so many staff members it is not beyond reason that
someone had saved
something on the hard drive.
Miss Information knows that it must be frustrating to work in IT surrounded by mere mortals who don't understand your simple, elegant language but perhaps a heads-up
before you delete the files would be a good idea.
Miss Information has a case of the crankies 1
‘Twas the week before Christmas and the library is filled with crying babies and cranky patrons. Meanwhile Miss Information had the world’s most annoying trip to work. She drove and her car needs gas desperately but the city has strategically placed all the gas stations on the other side of the street with “no left turn into the gas station” signs. She finally made it to work, still needing gas, but at least she’ll be on the gas station side of the street when she leaves here.
The library is part of a big complicated complex that includes many places to buy coffee and very little else. For no apparent reason she decided to not go into the main entrance but to use the entrance closer to her favourite coffee shop. The entrance closer to the coffee shop is where the t’ai chi practitioners gather. Miss Information thought it would mess up their chi (or their t’ai) if she went in that entrance, so she moved to the next one--closed due to mall construction. Ok, then. Although she had set out for an entirely different coffee shop, she headed for Starbucks instead because it has both an outdoor entrance and a mall entrance. Except that Starbucks had a giant queue blocking both entrances. Miss Information trudged onward to the next entrance, an entire mall’s length from where she started. Finally she was able to enter the mall where she went to her preferred coffee shop and got the biggest coffee available. Between the coffee shop and the library she realized she had forgotten her key card and had no way to enter the building.
She stood at the gate and looked sad until her boss opened the door for her but the fun didn't stop there...
(continued below in part 2)
Miss Information has a case of the crankies 2
(technically part 2, but it's chronolologically first because then you can just read from the top down)
After Miss Information finally got to work, she had an encounter with Mr. Cranky. Last week library installed a new do-it-yourself check-in machine. It seems to be working ok. Sometimes a patron will get an error message. Mr. Cranky got an error message so it seemed like a good time for him to march over to customer service and tell Miss Information everything he thought was wrong with the library-starting with the stupid check-in machine. Why the library has some nerve wasting all this money buying new equipment that doesn’t work and by the way, the library shouldn’t be doing stupid renovations. It was fiscally irresponsible! He demanded that Miss Information explain why the library was swanning around spending the tax-payers’ dollars on these stupid toys!
Miss Information was feeling a little cranky herself, especially after hearing yesterday that one of the truly decent circ people is losing his position at the branch because the machine has made him (and a couple of players to be named later) obsolete. Miss Information likes the people who work here and although the machine seems nice, it will probably never laugh at her jokes or recommend a good book to her. This was the last damn straw. She was a bit testier than usual as she responded about the wondrous savings the library would see from this awesome plan to replace her friends with more of these dumbass machines. So really, she explained with gritted teeth, the library was on his side with the financial responsibility and all that good stuff. The man didn’t hear a word she said and went away muttering about wastage and promising to alert the authorities.
The rest of the day was pretty annoying too and ended when Miss Information had to pay for her parking in quarters, nickles and dimes because the magnetic strip on her credit card has stopped working and she had no actual cash.
Miss Information is annoyed by the Christmas crankiness
It’s Christmas so of course everyone is filled with the joy of the season. Well there was this one patron who wasn’t. She started off by telling Miss Information that she had the day off, making Miss Information terribly jealous. Miss Information has been bitter and cranky since she realized that Christmas gets her exactly one extra day off. Ho, ho, ho.
The woman wanted to know where the closest location of the Magic Bus Travel Agency was. Miss Information used Google maps to find several locations. The woman complained bitterly that none were close enough. Miss Information wasn’t very sympathetic but gave her a print out of the locations anyway.
Next the woman wanted to know where she could learn the fine art of garnishing. Miss Information suggested some of the wonderful library books in stock that would teach the woman fancy fruit cutting techniques. The woman scoffed. She wasn’t interested in a book, she wanted a class. Now where were the classes?
Miss Information went back to Google where the woman proceeded to criticize her search techniques. “Don’t use ‘garnish’ use ‘food art’! Now try searching for vegetarian cooking classes! Now try ‘culinary art’!”
What Miss Information actually wanted to try was shoving the woman into an oven but she restrained herself. After completing several unsuccessful searches, she suggested that the woman broaden her search to include all culinary schools and then call around to ask if they might teach garnishing classes.
The woman had been annoyed with Miss Information since she made that crazy “read a book” suggestion earlier and this new advice didn’t make her any happier. “I came to the library so you could help me find the information! You’re not helping at all! If I wanted to do it myself, I would have stayed home!”
Well, Merry Christmas to you too, lady. Miss Information would like you to know that fruit is awesome to begin with and so carving it into whimsical shapes is just a giant waste of effort.
Miss Information is virtually annoyed again
Miss Information was fortunate to be working in online reference this week when the library phone system crashed. With no other way to bother librarians, patrons turned to online reference to fulfill their needs. Most weren't bad. Lots of questions about why the telephone reference service wasn't working, the usual questions about why the website didn't recognize their card number. Then there was this guy. Miss Information decided he was a guy, at least. No way to tell on virtual reference.
Guest: WHY I CAN'T GET JOB? IS ECONOMY BAD?
Miss Information: Your local branch library has a lot of job hunting resources. The Career Information section has books about resume writing, interviewing, and job applications.
Guest: DON'T WANT. NEED JOB. YOU THINK BAD ECONOMY REASON I CAN'T FIND JOB.
Miss Information wants to point out that shouting at her isn't going to help but instead she agrees that the economy is bad. Whether this is the reason Guest can't get a job is uncertain but Miss Information decides to be diplomatic for a change.
Guest: yes, economy bad. me needs job bad. why no job?
Miss Information is pleased to see that he's stopped yelling and sends him the library's job hunter's website.
Apparently he's just accidentally unlocked his caps, though because his next message is back to all caps.
Guest: WHY NO JOBS ON LIBRARY WEBSITE. SEE APPLICATION BUT WHY NO JOBS.
Miss Information: Right now there are no jobs available. You could fill out an application and take it to your local branch. The jobs for pages aren't on the website. Pages shelve books, things like that.
Guest: SHELF BOOKS! WANT GOOD JOB. NO SHELF BOOKS!
Miss Information used to shelve books herself. She mentions that it's a good entry point into the wonderful world of librarianship where one can have a rewarding career chatting to people who don't understand the proper use of the caps lock.
Guest: SAD. NEED JOB. ECONOMY BAD.
The conversation goes on and on. Miss Information begins to think that shelving books is a darned good way to make a living and considers applying for one of those jobs herself.
Fortunately, the gods of technology have finished messing with the library phones and have moved on to the chat system which goes down at exactly the time Miss Information's online reference shift was scheduled to end.
Will Guest get a job? Will the economy improve? Is it possible that Guest was really a LOLcat? Will Miss Information give up the glamorous world of online reference for a page job?
Stay tuned for the answers to these and other questions...
Miss Information is annoyed by the dishonest
Miss Information doesn't always mind the patrons when they lie. Sometimes the things they make up are very entertaining. Other times she isn't so forgiving.
Recently a woman called the branch. She was wondering whether the book she requested had arrived. Miss Information checked her card. What a miracle! The book was here. She told the woman the good news. The library would hold the book until Friday. Did the woman think she could get here in time?
The woman turned hostile. Well this was a fine how-do-you-do. She was going out of town. She was on her way to the airport within the hour. If she had known the book was ready she would have taken it on her vacation. Why hadn't the library notified her?
That seems plausible. You're getting ready to go on vacation. You're packed and waiting for the cab. Obviously, you take a moment to phone the library and check on your holds...because that's what all rational people do. Miss Information isn't buying this "didn't get notification" business. She thinks that the woman probably was contacted and ran out of time to come in to the library.
It's really no big deal. Miss Information arranges an extension so that the woman can pick up her book in a week. The woman vents for awhile about the lack of a phone call. Miss Information does all the proper procedures--checks that the phone number on file is the correct one, etc. Oh, and by the way, mentions that the library keeps records and by golly, did actually notify the woman on X day. The woman denies it, of course.
Fortunately, she manages to swing past the library on her way to the airport. She is as annoying in person as she was on the phone.
She breezes in and announces that she's here to pick up her book.
Miss Information: Terrific. Now, do you have your library card? We file them by number.
Vacation Woman: I have a cab waiting!
Miss Information: Um...ok...we still need the library card, though.
Seriously, she was going to need the card to sign the book out. Could she not have gotten it ready while she was in the cab?
Now the woman has an enemy for life and it was all completely unnecessary. Miss Information would have been happy to change the pick up date on the hold if the woman had simply said she'd forgotten the book in all the pre-vacation chaos. If you aren't going to tell the truth, at least make up a better story. A bunch of aliens were holding you prisoner. They kept you chained up in your basement while they rearranged your furniture and played your CDs. Worst of all, they refused to give you your phone messages.
Jerks.
