Miss Information has a religious experience...in Walmart
Ok so Miss Information has become a wheelchair user. Stroke but she's ok and she will run over your feet if you treat her like an invalid. She can't walk but she dashes around town in her awesome powerchair. She can even stand up if she needs something from the top shelf at the supermarket.
So this past weekend she went to Walmart. She needed an extension cord. She was feeling a bit stressed because she was moving out of the rehab hospital and back into assisted living and moving is so stressful, you know?
What is Miss Information's traditional cure for stress? Chocolate.
Having grabbed her extension cord she made her way to the candy section. She was trying to decide when a woman came up behind her and asked for recommendations. It's WALMART! They have all the chocolate in the world, just pick something!
Miss Information: Oh well there are lots of options. You should just try something you think you'd like. (Was she new to the planet or something?)
Woman: But what do you like?
Miss Information: I like dark chocolate but it's not for everyone. You should just pick a couple of things. (It's chocolate! You can't really go wrong here!)
Ah but it turns out the woman had an agenda. Dammit.
Woman: Why are you in that wheelchair?
So it's not about the candy. Sigh.
Miss Information: Stroke.
Woman: Too bad. Tell me--are you familiar with the Gospels?
Oh hell. Young-ish woman in a wheelchair gazing longingly at chocolate. She must need religion! For the record she just needed chocolate!
Actually, Miss Information had to read the New Testament more than once in university but she told the horrified woman that she is not religious. Woman left.
Miss Information quickly made her way to the checkout but stopped on the way to pick up chocolate covered pretzels. Two bags! White and milk chocolate.
Miss Information is annoyed by an antimasker...well it had to happen.
When Miss Information came for her desk shift at 4, her colleague had news.
"There's a person in the children's department who isn't wearing a mask. She described him. When I told him about our mask policy, he just ignored me then he bumped me with his little cart thing and said I shouldn't be talking to strangers. Security is speaking to him now. It seems to be cool."
Security returned and said the man had an exemption card. It's probably one of those things people can print from the internet but Miss Information likes problems that are solved so she went about the business of restocking displays. When she went to the returns area an intense conversation between a very upset circ clerk and the branch head was happening. The clerk was describing an interaction with the same man.
"Oh, [other librarian] had an encounter with him too," Miss Information said and she returned to her display tidying.
She saw the branch head walking to the children's department to talk to the man. Soon there was shouting. Branch Head and man came to the checkout area. The man was annoyed. He didn't want anyone on staff to ever talk to him again. Oh, how Miss Information wanted that too. In fact probably all the staff wanted that.
He was marching around shouting and then he spotted Miss Information. He pointed at her. "She's an idiot," he said. "I told her to get out of my way and she wouldn't, so I pushed her. What an idiot. She shouldn't be talking to strangers. I'm a psychologist! Strangers can be dangerous! They could follow her home! Idiot!"
And now, after the dust has settled Miss Information remembers Dwight from The Office. In a famous sequence he explained his decision making process like this: "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."
But Miss Information did not remember that at the time and proceeded to do the idiot thing. Though security tried to stop her she stood up and shouted at the angry man, "Hey, that wasn't me! There was a shift change! Stop calling me an idiot!"
The man actually said he was sorry and explained he has bad eyesight. After a bit more shouting he left. He was subsequently banned for two months.
So basically if you come to the library and don't want staff to talk you, wear a mask. If you have an exemption all you have to say is "exemption". You don't need to go the shouty disruptive route at all.
Miss Information is annoyed by the phone company
Miss Information has briefly taken a break from her "not being annoyed" sabbatical to be really annoyed at a phone service provider.
Long story. Miss Information’s mother moved and now Miss Information would like to cancel her mother’s old landline. Easy, right. Except that Miss Information’s least favourite thing about adulting is making phone calls. Still, has to be done.
The history is that it was Mrs Information’s phone for many years. Briefly, because of some complication, it was the phone number associated with Miss Information’s sister’s business. Then it reverted back to a residential phone but since Miss Information was handling her mother’s finances, it was switched into her name.
When her mother’s house was sold recently and she was making all the cancellation phone calls, she contacted the Giant Conglomerate Phone Company:
Miss Information: Hello, I want to cancel this landline.
Giant Conglomerate Phone Company: Huh. That account is attached to a cell phone that’s been cancelled.
Miss I: Oh, right. I did have a cell phone account with you but I switched providers. I just want to cancel the landline though.
GCPC: But your account is cancelled.
Miss I: The landline still exists but I want to cancel it.
GCPC: But you don’t have an account.
Miss I: Ok, but I’ve been paying the phone bill and I want to stop doing that.
GCPC: It looks like a business account. I will transfer you.
GCPC: Business Support. How can I help you?
Miss I: Hello, I want to cancel this landline.
GCPC: Yeah. Ok. That number is connected to a cell phone that’s been cancelled.
Miss I: Yes, I did have a mobile account with you but I switched providers. I just want to cancel the landline though.
GCPC: But your account is already cancelled.
Miss I: I only cancelled my cell phone. The landline still exists but I want to cancel it.
GCPC: But you don’t have an account.
Miss I: Ok, but I’ve been paying the phone bill and I want to stop doing that. There’s an account number on the bill. Will that help? [gives number]
GCPC: Oh, I see. That’s not a business account number. That’s an account number for a home phone.
Miss I: Right. I already talked to them. They transferred me to you because they couldn’t help.
GCPC: Oh, they can totally help you, just call them back.
So, yes, the Business Department Guy gave helpful advice but Miss Information couldn’t handle talking to the residential people again. She will try tomorrow or the next day, maybe next Monday at the latest.
Several weeks later she tries again:
Miss I: Hello, I want to cancel this landline.
GCPC: Yeah. Ok. That number is connected to a cell phone that’s been cancelled.
Miss I: Yes, I know. I did have a cell phone account with you but I switched providers. I just want to cancel the landline though. It should have been put in my name.
GCPC: But the account with your name was closed.
Miss I: Ok but the landline still exists and I want to cancel it.
GCPC: But you don’t have an account.
Miss I: Ok, but I’ve been paying the phone bill and I want to stop doing that. At one point it was a business phone, but the business department told me to talk to you.
GCPC: I can’t figure out what’s going on. In the meantime, can I interest you in an Internet and TV package?
Miss I: No thanks. I’m happy with my provider. Really I just want to cancel this landline and stop paying the bills for a phone that no longer exists.
GCPC: But our Internet and TV is way better and less money than whoever your provider is now.
Miss I: Just cancel the phone.
GCPC: This is weird. I just don’t understand what’s happening with this account. Maybe it was with the Small Business people. I’ll consult with a colleague. Hold the line, please.
GCPC: Small Business consultant. I see your account here.
Miss I: Great. I want to cancel it.
GCPC: Are you [sister’s name]?
Miss I: No, my sister did have the phone number in her name at one point but it should be in mine now.
GCPC: Well, at one time it was associated with a mobile account which has been closed.
Miss I: Yes, that was my account. I changed providers for my cell phone. I just want to cancel the landline though.
GCPC: No, no, no. Your name is not on the account. [Sister’s name] is the only one who can do this. Let me talk to her.
Miss I: I’m at work. She's also at work...in another part of the city.
GCPC: Well. That’s no good. I can’t cancel it without talking to her since it’s her phone.
Miss I: (mutters under her breath) Hasn't been her phone for years. Listen, I know there’s money outstanding. At least let me pay that.
GCPC: You’re not on the account. I can’t tell you anything about the bill.
Miss I: I’ve been paying the phone bill for years, though. Can’t you let me know how much I owe you? I want to give you money.
GCPC: Not a chance. [Sister’s name] is the only one I can speak to about this.
Miss I: Cool, cool. Great. I'll tell her.
GCPC: By the way, did my colleague tell you about our great Internet and TV packages? Much cheaper than whatever you're paying now.
Miss I: Sounds awesome. I’ll consider it.
Narrator: Miss Information was lying just then. She will never consider doing business with them again.
An Update from Miss Information
[Please note: Miss Information wrote this ages ago and posted it to the wrong blog.]
Hi, everyone
And a very special hello to everyone who has commented on the blog over the past few years. Not the spammers. Miss Information hates them and will delete their comments some day.
I'm still working in libraries. The library I'm in now is huge and busy but it's not at all crazy and annoying. I miss this blog but to be honest, I've got no stories to tell.
Perhaps someday I will.
Until then I'm very grateful for everyone who ever read one of my posts--even the people who said I was a terrible librarian.
Till we meet again, I remain,
Miss Information
Miss Information is annoyed about printing
The library where Miss Information works has been closed for a renovation. She worked at a branch for a while and then was seconded to a non-public service position for the past 4 months. Today the library reopened. Oh, cool.
Miss Information is out of practice with actual people and there were really quite a lot of them. This evening a patron asked for her help printing. Miss Information hasn't used the new printing system yet so she says "Ok, I'm not familiar with the printing system yet but we can figure it out together."
Printing Woman: Well find me someone who is familiar.
Miss Information: I'm afraid there's not many staff members here and we're all in the same boat. I'm sure we can work it out.
PW: Can't you ask someone younger for help?
Miss I: (beyond annoyed now): I may be old, but I'm good with technology. So what do you want to print.
PW: Oh, I didn't mean it like that.
Miss I: (annoyed and feisty): Well, you said it and it sure sounded like you meant it like that.
PW: I just meant that young people know what they're doing.
Miss I: SO DO I. It's the first day we've had this system.
PW: Well, I know the system. I've used it in other libraries. It's stupid.
PW has a couple of attachments to print. Great. But she basically wants Miss Information to watch her decide which pages she wants to print. Miss Information is given the onerous task of entering the print command.
Together they go to the printer and scan PW's card. PW has .25 on her card and her print job is 1.35. She has to go down to the circ desk and add 1,10. She tells Miss Information to guard the printer.
The woman returns. She has added .25 to her card so she now has .50--not exactly enough.
Fortunately the staff member who gave training on the new printer showed up while PW was at circ. (She is also not young.) Miss Information had described her interaction with PW and the Trainer now volunteered to take PW down to the circ desk AGAIN and show her how to do her printing downstairs.
Miss Information is very grateful to the Trainer who may have prevented bloodshed on the new carpet.
