Miss Information is counting the daysSummer has worn down even the nicest of staff members. A woman who is so nice that she comes in to work early to bake treats for everyone recently disclosed her fiendish plan to get rid of troublesome patrons and clean up the cupboards in the staff kitchen at the same time. It involved melting old tupperware containers into bullets.
"It might not kill them, but there's a good chance of toxic shock," she said cheerfully.
Miss Information was delighted and more than a little frightened. She herself is sick to death of playing Manhunt with the band of future felons who inhabit the library. This week she spotted a couple of new athletes on the playing field.
"Please, don't chase each other around the library," she said to the girls who were chasing each other around the library.
"We aren't chasing each other around the library," one of them said indignantly.
Oh. Miss Information checks. It is still a library, isn't it?
She's pretty tired when she answers the phone. The man wants a copy of the Old Testament. Miss Information describes the several translations the library owns but the man is disappointed. He wanted the "original" Old Testament. Miss Information urges him to give the King James version a try but no. It isn't "original" enough for the man.
What did he expect? An illuminated manuscript? Gutenberg? Something in Aramaic carved on stone tablets?
Speaking of the Old Testament, Miss Information remembers some kind of rule or law or commandment or something in there somewhere about theft. She can't confirm that though because all of the library DVDs of the Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston have been stolen.