Saturday, July 14, 2007

Miss Information is annoyed by random violence

Today the big, plushy library mascot made a visit to a nearby community fair where it was pelted with rocks and balls by a group of unruly children. Miss Information was not surprised. In fact, when the library announced its big plushy library mascot plans a couple of months ago she knew it was only a matter of time before the words "big, plushy library mascot", "pelted with" and "rocks" showed up in a blog entry. The balls were unexpected, though.

The costume is big and plushy so the staff member inside escaped unharmed. Unfortunately the big, plushy nature of the costume made self defense impossible. Besides it's against the big, plushy library mascot code to just start whacking kids upside the head with Roberts Rules of Order when they get out of line. There was another staff member assigned to big, plushy bodyguard duty but her license to kill had expired.

Later in the day, Miss Information found herself explaining to an extremely pregnant woman that the Harry Potter movies are, in fact, not documentaries.

Someone should save time and give that kid a rock as soon as it's born.


At 9:49 PM, Anonymous Woeful said...

"Unfortunately the big, plushy nature of the costume made self defense impossible." LMAO!!

It's nice to see that your life is as ridiculous as mine.

At 4:31 PM, Blogger Stack Ferret said...

For self defense, they should give the mascot a bean bag gun like the riot squads have. I'd pay a lot of money to watch THAT show...

At 2:02 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

Perhaps rather than giving that kid a rock as soon as it's born, someone should just quietly explain to that woman that she should not be trusted with the care of a brand-new human. You know, while there's still theoretically hope for it. Though it will most likely have back hair one day.


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