Miss Information is annoyed by new teaching methodsA future teacher comes to the desk. She wants books about children sitting still. Sure, those books exist. Miss Information gamely suggests the woman look at some books on classroom management.
Oh, no, no, no. Those books will be about making children sit still. Sitting still is bad. The teacher-to-be wants books on why children should not sit still. Oh, right. Those books.
It is becoming less likely that Miss Information can help this woman. For one thing she likes children to sit still, at least when they’re in the library. She hates those running, jumping, bouncing children. They make her dizzy and cranky.
It is however, a really excellent book idea. Miss Information can put her personal feelings aside long enough to write a best selling book on why children shouldn’t sit still.
Here’s what she’s got so far:
1. If children sit still they won’t wear out their shoes as often and Michael Jordan will go broke.
2. If they sit still they can’t get lost.
3. Moving targets mean more exciting hunting.
Hmmm. That’s a good start. She can expand that into a couple hundred pages. There will be a media blitz. She will give lectures at important universities. She will become famous. She will promote her book on Oprah. Oprah will hate her and the rest of the world will realize the book is crap. She will be denounced by teachers and parents everywhere. There will be lawsuits galore as children who would be better off sitting still get broken arms from running around willy-nilly and tripping over their own feet. She will become destitute and spend her remaining years sleeping off hangovers in the library.
Not much different than now, really.