Monday, July 23, 2007

Miss Information is annoyed by romance

The library in summer is the last place Miss Information expected to find the significant other who has been eluding her all this time, being that the library in summer is filled numerous artistic displays of back hair, black socks with sandals, and guys who can’t tell the difference between an undershirt and a tank top—amazingly they aren’t interchangeable.

But, you know, there is no accounting for taste. The frantic map woman from a few entries ago has fallen madly in love with Miss Information. Well, they do say opposites attract and Frantic Map Woman is obviously drawn to Miss Information because she is: not frantic, not that interested in maps and you know, sane.

Frantic Map Woman first displayed her devotion when she gave Miss Information a new pen (“with great love”) to replace one that Frantic Map Woman had lost. It was a nice gesture. It would have been nicer if Frantic Map Woman hadn’t turned around and borrowed the pen again. But, whatever.

A couple of days later, Frantic needed paper, which Miss Information provided. There was no “great love” involved in this exchange. Miss Information doesn’t give it up that easily. Later, Frantic expressed her gratitude for a staple by enfolding Miss Information in a passionate embrace. Luckily Frantic is one of the customers who does know what soap is.

The strangest sign of Frantic Map Woman’s devotion came towards the end of last week. Miss Information was working on some looseleaf filing at a study table. She looked up to find Frantic Map Woman gazing lovingly at her.

“Let me help you with your filing,” she begged.

Miss Information, who can’t even get the staff members who are assigned filing duties to do it, declined but Frantic Map Woman decided this was an area of common interest and proceeded to share her vast knowledge of filing systems.

Poor Frantic Map Woman. She is unaware that an obsessive interest in looseleaf filing is not a quality that Miss Information looks for in prospective mates. But she is torn. Those looseleaf pages aren't going to file themselves. How badly does this woman want to be friends?

Besides, Frantic Map Woman probably doesn't have back hair so that's one point in her favour.


At 3:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Found your website via Happyville blog. I have spent the some time last few days reading the blog from the beginning.

Thanks for the laughs. Love the blog. Would seriously love to see you write a book! I may have to go camp out in our town library and watch for these types of antics.


At 2:36 PM, Blogger Will said...

/Probably/ doesn't have back hair. I really really hope Frantic Map Woman doesn't have back hair. But you can never be too certain. Until you find out. For certain.

At 9:56 PM, Anonymous Sarah Joan said...

Oh the joys of the obssessive and affectionate library patron. I know what it's like ... though you are SO LUCKY she uses soap!

At 12:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this reading!


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