Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Miss Information is annoyed by Ralph, Piggy and the gang

Summer is winding down and the children have gone feral. The library is now like Lord of the Flies except without the civility. One of the little bastards was inexpressibly rude to the very pleasant woman from IT who was trying to fix one of the computers. Like she'll ever be back.

Meanwhile some of the urchins in the children’s department actually attempted to burn the library down Saturday, lighting matches and throwing them on the floor. Foolish children. A proper fire requires tinder and kindling. If you went to camp instead of spending your entire summer in the library you would know that.

The adults are strange too. There’s a guy who brought his own peroxide. He shared a nice story about how he contracted herpes because he failed to sanitize things properly. Ew.

Another man became incensed when asked to take his feet off the chair. There are no signs saying that he can't put his feet on the chair. If the library wants him to stop putting his feet on the chair, there should be signs!

Look, buddy, there are many things the library doesn't want you doing, among them--exotic dancing, kickboxing, and roasting marshmallows. The library is not going to post signs for everything. When you are asked to take your feet off the chair, just take your damn feet off the chair.

And obviously, marshmallow roasting is out of the question unless someone learns to build a proper fire. Maybe there's a video on YouTube?


At 10:53 PM, Anonymous Woeful said...

LOL... People.

It's always nice to read about a day that's weirder than mine. Sometimes you give me the strength to carry on...

At 2:46 PM, Blogger Soph said...


Had a nice relaxing day at work today.

We were closed.

I think it is that one day that keeps me sane for the other five when we have to let the public (read: mentalists) in :0)

At 3:20 PM, Blogger Library Lady said...

Ask and ye shall receive:

Never Fail Campfire Building

At 7:40 PM, Anonymous adrienne said...

Our kids went back to school 3 weeks ago, but we still had a man in the library today reading the Bible at the top of his lungs to nobody in particular

At 4:10 PM, Blogger Amanda said...

I've never seen a sign saying that librarians cannot kick stupid people in the neck. Just an observation.

At 2:08 PM, Blogger tinylittlelibrarian said...

We have that exact same feet-on-furniture problem and the "There's no sign" whining. Idiots. Actually, we once had a loser, after being told not to swear at the security guard, that there wasn't a sign saying he couldn't swear. Asshat.

At 8:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They've just cracked the iphone, so I guess the next challenge will be for some kid to figure out how to set an e-book on fire...


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