What Miss Information has here is a failure to communicateA few weeks ago, Miss Information attended a communications workshop. Pretty early on in the presentation, the highly-paid motivational speaker explained to the group that "sarcasm is counterproductive". After that, Miss Information spent the rest of the workshop planning her new career as a highly-paid motivational speaker. Besides that tip on sarcasm she would offer advice like "swearing at the patrons is a bad idea" and "stabbing people is messy".
If she had paid a bit more attention, she might have known what to do this afternoon when the library's security guard approached the Reference Desk accompanied by two men who were screaming at each other.
The security guard reported that the men were upset. Well, duh. Happily Miss Information is never in charge, which is why she'll never leave this place to go to a smaller library. Before she can share this tidbit of information, the men began to tell their stories. Their argument was along the lines of "he touched my stuff" "did not" "did so" "did not" variety.
It seems Guy #1, a man in his 30s, had left his possessions unattended to go to the washroom. Upon returning he witnessed Guy #2 "pawing" through his things.
Guy #2, who looked about 40, denied the allegation. He never touched the other guy's things. Well, ok, he took a piece of gum from Guy #1's desk but he was insulted that he was being accused of theft.
While Miss Information was puzzling out the logic of "I stole something from you but how dare you accuse me of stealing something from you", Guy #1 suggested they go out to the parking lot and settle this like men. (Miss Information is not an expert, but she doesn't think smashing somebody's face in because they stole a stick of gum is particularly manly, but whatever.)
This was the point that Miss Information realized that her strategy of staring open-mouthed at these two dimwits was ineffective and she alerted the person in charge that there was an incredibly stupid incident to handle.
Luckily the guy in charge must have paid attention in his communications seminar and was able to calm the idiots down, thus preventing bloodshed.
Miss Information retreated to the Reference Desk to complete the remaining 3.5 hours of duty, however the evening brought with it one additional conflict. A young boy complained that a bigger kid had "stolen" his computer. Miss Information is pleased to report, however, that the child's gum remained untouched.