Thursday, March 01, 2007

Miss Information is annoyed by a refresher course

Every couple of years, Miss Information's first aid certification expires and the library sends her for upgrading. It's all pretty useless because Miss Information is just no good in a crisis. For one thing, she's a hypochondriac, so no matter how bad your injury/situation is she's just gonna be distracted by her own paper cut. Which is probably infected and turning into that flesh eating disease thing. She has real problems.

But she does like to be away from the branch. Besides the weather guys were predicting a storm and the class was easily reachable by public transit.

About an hour into the seminar, after watching videos of people blithely walking into plate glass windows, impaling themselves on pointy things and behaving stupidly around other people's blood, Miss Information had pretty much decided to never leave home again.

During the discussion portion of the class, she noticed something about one of her classmates. This woman had examples of everything. People around her had mostly died horribly. She had also witnessed someone choking at a fast food restaurant, a heart attack at a hockey rink, a serious tobogganing accident, a bus crash, a bee sting allergy event, a near drowning, and several workplace injuries. Miss Information was terrified to be in the same room with her. Who was she, anyway? Some kind of Typhoid Mary of libraries?

At one point the woman mentioned that she had recently moved to a different library. Was this because all her co-workers had met with mysterious "accidents"? Miss Information decides to keep tabs on the people at this new library, although she personally is staying very far away from this woman. Perhaps she just has terrible luck. Or just maybe there's something more sinister happening.

When the class is dismissed Miss Information runs to the train station. There's no way she's getting on the same subway as that woman.


At 1:10 AM, Blogger Tiny Little Librarian said...

Last year some of the children's librarians were sent for a ChildSafe course. One of my colleagues has 4 kids and she had examples for everything the instructor discussed, too. Head wounds and choking came up a lot, as did rushing to the ER. Remind me never to ask her to babysit for my future kids.

At 12:15 AM, Blogger Kerri said...

I think you may have been in a class with Jessica Fletcher....


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