Miss Information is annoyed by the dullness of it allIt is the day of the week Miss Information dreads. It is the day the employee newsletter arrives. Issue after issue it proves conclusively that Miss Information and her co-workers are unquestionably the least interesting people on the planet.
Each newsletter is filled with the thrilling tales of employees heroically --ummmm, well, er, doing their jobs. For example the Shiny Happy Branch put together an actual book display. Ooooooooooh. Ahhhhhhhh. How cutting edge is that? Miss Information pinches herself--yes, she is awake--and weeps quietly.
Employees have been featured doing such daring activities as calling 9-1-1 when customers collapse in the library. One issue highlighted a staff member who unplugged a kettle because it was starting to smoulder. Miss Information admires these brave souls. Without them to use as examples she would be completely lost. She knows that if she ever encountered a flaming appliance she'd probably just stand around complaining about the tea tasting smokier than usual. And as for customers collapsing, well, that's loitering, buddy. Strictly against library rules and that calls for an explusion letter which Miss Information will now staple to your chest.
Sigh. She knows that although the library world is pretty boring, her co-workers cannot possibly be as dull as this. She waits hopefully for the next update.