Wednesday, May 25, 2005

It was a dark and stormy night

Not really, although Miss Information's mood was dark and stormy...

It was a typical Friday evening at the Reference Desk. Miss Information was busy trying to train/orient/crush the spirit of a new librarian. Somebody has to.

Meanwhile reference questions were becoming strange. A woman with no discernable accent quite clearly asked for books on cocaine desserts. Miss Information took her to the cooking section and hoped for the best. Another tragic patron (or "hostile", as Miss Information now thinks of them) wanted to know where the books with pictures of federal and municipal laws were kept. (Miss Information offered to whip up an oil painting of the dog licensing bylaw, but the customer wasn’t interested.) Someone pissed in the elevator. The librarian in charge responded by dousing the elevator with the even-worse-smelling air freshener the library provides for such occasions.

All the while, Miss Information was trying to input employee hours into the timesheet. In addition to the new librarian mentioned above, there were 3 new people to add to the spreadsheet. Miss Information needed their full names so as to put them in correct alphabetical order. She does love her alphabetizing. It turned out that not one person working that evening knew anything about these people. What’s more, it further transpired that there was no written record of these staff members. If Miss Information hadn’t met them, she would have no proof they even existed. Run for your lives, new people! You still have a chance to get away!


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