Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Miss Information wonders why we can't just get along

Some members of Miss Information's yoga class have declared war on the poor, helpless kickboxers who use the room next door. It is quickly becoming an ugly situation with yoga students taking turns yelling at the poor kickbox instructor. It's only a matter of time before somebody lobs a tear gas cannister into their room.

And the propaganda machine is chugging away with one yoga woman confidently announcing that the "kickboxers hate us because we're peace-loving hippies". Miss Information is relatively certain that the kickboxers didn't think twice about the yoga people until we started interrupting their class to scream at them and if they hate us now, it probably has nothing to do with our "peace-loving hippie" characteristics.

Not to be confrontational, but Miss Information would like to point out that the words "peace-loving" rarely apply to irrational screaming people, although she no longer wonders why they're looking for stress relief.

It all started because the kickboxing music was too loud and deemed inappropriate for relaxation. Miss Information isn't going to say this out loud, but their music reflects her personal taste more closely than the new age-y, wind-chime-y, synth crap that they play at yoga class. (Seriously, why? Is there scientific evidence that listening to hideous music speeds up the search for enlightenment?)

She now lives in fear that she will be identified as a kickbox-sympathizer and stabbed in the back while she's in plough pose. She may have to go do some screaming herself in order to keep favour with the dominant group.

What Miss Information Thought About in Corpse Pose
Well, obviously since she's never closing her eyes around these people again, genuine corpse pose is out of the question. Anyway, as she was lying there quivering in terror she realized that she was the most calm, serene person in the room. It was a new experience for her.


At 3:53 PM, Blogger Cat. said...

I'm cracking up.

...but also wondering if I can join the kickboxing class and watch the eventual battle royal.

What are the others in your class going to do: downward dog the boxers to death??

At 3:54 PM, Blogger Daniel H said...

Ah yes, New-Age music.

Did you know that New-Age Music, played backwards, sounds like: New-Age Music?

- Precision Blogger

At 3:30 PM, Blogger void said...

Boo-hoo-hoo. Boo-hoo-hoo.

I love your blog - and THANK YOU, THANK YOU , THANK YOU for not being a part of the sea of victims. I love you, lady. How about martial arts - they teach restraint, discipline and incorporate meditation? And – it may come in handy on flight someday.:0)

At 10:37 PM, Blogger WordWhiz said...

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