Thursday, November 30, 2006

Miss Information is annoyed by the schedule

It is the end of the year and everyone has left over vacation they need to use. Another 1/3 of the staff has recently been promoted to other branches. The handful of remaining staff has been laid out by an insidious cold/flu bug. This is why Miss Information is working in the Children’s Department today.

Oh, and it’s the day the toddlers come for a program.

As if the sight of a bedheaded, under-caffeinated Miss Information isn’t enough to terrify small children, she opted to wear her most grotesque t-shirt. She has often heard that childrens’ services are the most rewarding. Is it because it’s so much fun when they run away screeching in horror?

The story time leader is suitably perky. The toddlers are adorable. Their caregivers are pleasant and friendly. There are stickers and crayons and name tags. There are puppets. There is singing and dancing. Miss Information is in hell.

At one point, the children are all given bells. Bells, for god’s sake. Isn’t it too early in the morning for bells?

There is a fun song about ducks--ducks who go out for a nice swim on a lake and NEVER COME BACK. This is the stuff of nightmares. The children don’t seem concerned and neither is the song’s parental figure (Father Duck) but Miss Information is horrified. What has happened to those ducks? Undertow? Internet predators? Duck molesters? Parental ducknapping? (The song doesn’t mention a mother duck. It was probably an ugly divorce.)

Miss Information is just not cut out for childrens' services.


At 6:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Miss Info you just make me laugh.. I love it.. hahaha

At 8:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'll take early morning bells for a 100 Alex. In our library, the wee ones thump overhead as they do their warmups and cool downs before and after story time. The smaller the child the louder the thundering. And believe me, no amount of caffeine helps!

At 9:05 PM, Anonymous Miss Print said...

In the immortal words of John Donne:

". . .send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee."

Let us hope that the enthusiastic clanging of the moppets does not portend a grievous future for our beloved Miss Information.

At 3:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In the version of the song I have performed before, all 5 little ducks, after going swimming over the hills and far away -- come back.

So Father Duck doesn't get picked up by the authorities for negligence.

At 11:10 AM, Blogger No one asked us said...

Miss Information you should have done the song Banana's Unite. The kids love that and no fruit get hurt in the song.

At 9:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am a very former children's librarian who decided to live a child-free life after spending four long years in "Kiddy City." I feel your pain.


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