Thursday, January 12, 2006

Miss Information is annoyed with a dyslexic

Actually, she may just have been a bad speller.

Sometimes Miss Information will go for a couple of days/weeks at work without anything major going wrong. Oh, sure there are little things, but they're spaced far enough apart to not get on her nerves. She starts to really like her job. She somehow finds endless reserves of patience to deal with the questions. And then all of a sudden, the earth shifts and all the crazies show up on the same day.

Recently a customer Miss Information likes to call Penis Guy started calling. He phones every day or so to see if the library has any new books on "male body parts". This creeps Miss Information out. Does this guy want sex manuals? Should she refer him to a medical clinic? Or is he just interested in seeing naughty pictures, (in which case there are some Robert Mapplethorpe books she could recommend)? She knows she should be above it all, but there are some Reference Interviews she just can't face.

At any rate, Penis Guy was the least of her problems today. There was a very stupid woman doing a job search. It was all Miss Information could do to stop saying something like "I think I know why you're unemployed". Oh, and her old friend "Chinese Sexual Body Language Woman" stopped by with another bizarre and vaguely stated request.

Oh, right, back to the dyslexic...a woman angrily approached the desk. She couldn't get her e-mail to work and it was probably the stupid library computer system. Well, yeah, Miss Information acknowledged that that was indeed possible and accompanied the woman back to her terminal. She asked the woman to show her what she had done and the woman clicked on the address bar and typed:

Miss Information pointed out that the woman had made a spelling error. The woman tried again: www.YHA... Miss Information stopped her in mid-word and pointed out the correct spelling of "yahoo". The woman backspaced and typed again www.YH...Miss Information made the woman start again, this time spelling the word as the woman typed. She typed At this point, Miss Information grabbed the keyboard out of the woman's hand and typed the address correctly. She refrained from then strangling the woman with the mouse cord. Honestly, if you can't spell the name of your e-mail provider, you don't deserve the Internet.

There have been so many strange customers over the past couple of days that Miss Information has concluded that the recent mild weather has allowed them to become unstuck from whatever metal surfaces their tongues have been frozen to. Much as she hates the cold weather, she is starting to wish for a cold snap.


At 11:40 PM, Blogger Rayna said...

Miss Information is absolutely hilarious - I am so glad I found her. Haven't laughed so much since yesterday.


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