Monday, December 26, 2005

How Miss Information spent Boxing Day

Regular visitors to this website can be forgiven for concluding that Miss Information is merely a cynical old crank who delights in finding fault with the world. She isn't really. It's just that the annoying things in life make more interesting stories. In fact, she loves all that warm and fuzzy raindrops-on-roses-whiskers-on-kittens stuff. (However, don't be misled. She absolutely loathes and despises all musicals--Broadway and Hollywood.) Anyway, like all normal sentimental people her very favourite thing about Christmas is how you get to visit with all those precious folks you've lost touch with over the years.

So, today Miss Information visited with her dear old friends at the Collision Reporting Centre. It's been ages since she last saw them. They're just looking so well these days.

Not looking nearly so well is her car.

As always, Miss Information believed she had constructed a foolproof plan for day. When will she learn? She makes the absolute worst plans. Not having shopped enough over the course of the last month, she decided to get out there and enjoy some post-Chrismas sales. But she's no dummy. In order to retain what few brain cells remain after spending Christmas with her family, she decided to skip the mall. Oh, yeah. Mall parking is always horrendous on Boxing Day. So, instead she went to some little quiet strip mall where only a couple of stores were even open. She shopped, tried stuff on but didn't buy anything. She then went off to another little quiet mall where she took a good look at the side of her car. You know how the side of a car is supposed to be sort of car-shaped? Like, not all dented and paint chipped? That's how Miss Information's car used to look--you know, yesterday?

Ironically, she realizes now that if she had gone to one of those big malls, her car would have been perfectly safe all hemmed in like a sardine among thousands of cars--unlike the little quiet strip mall where only 5 cars were parked, so of course the odds that somebody would back up into Miss Information's car were maximized. Oooooooh, she is just so pissed off.

Oh, and by the way, thanks for leaving a nice little note on her windshield identifying yourself, dumbass. You are so going to hell.

Anyway the Collision Reporting Centre guy estimated the damage at $1500. Which is great. Because she didn't spend money at the store, she can pay her insurance deductable! That's way better than new shoes!

Miss Information wishes all of you and your cars a happy, safe and dent-free New Year.


At 4:52 AM, Blogger todd vodka said...

I do like your blog, and appreciate the work you put into your delightful style. I've just bookmarked you. But please do apply a form of commenting were one is not required to log in to blogger. It just so taxing.

At 5:45 PM, Blogger adrienne said...

OUCH! $1500? I don't know what that is in American dollars, but it's a chunk. I'm sorry for you.

At 10:31 AM, Blogger Average Jane said...

How infuriating! I suppose the small shopping center doesn't have security cameras either.

At 6:30 PM, Anonymous Email marketing said...

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At 7:49 AM, Anonymous Horses said...

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