The return of Crazy Underwear Guy(Part one of the Amazing Adventures of Crazy Underwear Guy is located below...)
It was a few weeks later. It was a Thursday. Miss Information was in charge of the Circulation Desk and we all know just how much she loves that. It was also Legal Aid Night. Bells should have gone off. Well, bells were going off, but it was only the alarm bell for the elevator and that goes off all the time so Miss Information didn’t clue in that it was time for the inevitable return of Crazy Underwear Guy.
At some point during the night she looked up from her very important work bothering the library fish. Oh, crap. There he was. At the circ desk. Miss Information prays that this is not going to involve her. She sees CUG having an intense conversation with one of the clerks. If she were any sort of human being, she would go over and help her co-worker. Instead she hides under the desk. Too late. The co-worker is coming over. She reminds Miss Information that she is in charge and asks if she can help CUG. Miss Information already knows the answer to that question is no but she is getting paid the big bucks to deal with this sort of thing so she picks herself up from under the desk and approaches the man, the entire time psychically sending a request for aid to the branch head who is so good with the insane people. His mind-reading ability needs improvement however and he fails to come to the rescue.
Crazy Underwear Guy is concerned. (Isn’t everyone?) He has an overdue book. He knows he has it. He wants to give it back, but he just can’t find it. He wants the library to send somebody to his house to help him look for the book. It’s in his house somewhere but he can’t be expected to actually find it himself, can he? What’s more, he wants the fines waived. It isn’t his fault the book is overdue. It’s the library’s fault for not going over and helping him look for the book. Miss Information wonders briefly if the VISA people would buy this excuse. If they really want their money, shouldn’t they come and get it themselves? She also wonders how far the library collection agency is willing to go to “collect” things. She can’t think of a single suitable response to the man’s statement. She opts to stare blankly at him. She is practically screaming a psychic SOS at the branch head, who remains blissfully unaware of her predicament. Suddenly, the man gives her a way out.
“You know,” says the man. “I’ve sent a letter all about this to the Shiny Happy Branch in the city’s west end. Maybe I should just talk to them about it.”
Miss Information is delighted. She agrees that if the Shiny Happy Branch has some knowledge of this situation, it really isn’t fair for her to get involved. The man should definitely deal directly with them. Who knows, maybe they’ve already hired a lost book finder to help him with his problem.
Miss Information says good bye and goes for a nice long break. She later learns that on his way out, the man asks circ staff to call Shiny Happy Branch and remind them of his standard 9 am wake up call.
That Shiny Happy Branch really provides a full range of services. They’re an example to us all.