Thursday, April 08, 2010

Miss Information is bringing the crazy back

Miss Information is down to her last two essays. It is killing her. Despite her realization that she could probably hand in a 15 page paper written in rhyming couplets and still manage to get a passing grade, she is agonizing over this. She suspects that because she is a drooling, mumbling mess, she has attracted a new crazy friend.

It was her first customer of the day. The woman's beautiful blue eyes briefly disguised that the she was a marching band full of crazy. She started out by asking Miss Information to help her find the contact information for the local police. She had a complaint. Also, she would like to complain about the national policing agency as well. They weren't taking her seriously. And the phone company. They were monitoring her calls. Oh, and also she needed information about the landlord and tenant act. She doesn't care for her landlord's attitude. He's spying on her.

Miss Information did what she always does in these situations. She pretended the woman was rational and tried to deal with the questions one at a time. As she was getting the requested information the woman kept talking. Who would she complain to about her doctor? The hospital had forced her, under hypnosis, to take all sorts of tests, some of them gynaecological. As if that wasn't bad enough, the bastards were selling this highly personal information to radio and television stations who were broadcasting the woman's tests nationally. The woman wondered who she would complain to about this. Miss Information has no idea but she was pleased to learn why television's been so stupid lately.

Miss Information tries to help her as much as she can. Obviously she's out of her depth here. However, she knows that some libraries offer legal aid services and she suggests the woman talk to an attorney about these problems, possibly get some help, start commitment hearings, etc. The woman looks at Miss Information as though she were the crazy one. She doesn't need a lawyer. Why would she need a lawyer? That's insane.

Oh. Thanks for clearing that up. The woman left with a ream of addresses and a variety of complaint forms from a number of agencies. Before she left, she did mention that Miss Information had been very helpful and she would not be filing any sort of complaint against her.

Good.

7 Comments:

At 1:59 PM, Anonymous Walt Lessun said...

You can make book that this patron will return again and again. I've got two just like her...

 
At 11:55 PM, Blogger Nixon is in hell said...

You are fearless, Missy, and an inspiration to we simpering cowards who also are employed in public service, heheh...

 
At 8:55 AM, Blogger Sassenach said...

I used to work for an emergency response agency with an 800 number. We got calls from these unfortunate people regularly.

Next time, I suggest that you tell her that you know someone who has helped people who are similarly being persecuted -- and then give her the name/number of a contact at the county mental health office.

Good luck with your final essays!

 
At 10:56 AM, Anonymous cathycairn said...

Good luck with your final essays. You did good with the crazy lady!!! This is the kind of thing I tell people when they say it must be nice to work in a library and "sit and read all day" Meh!!!

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger Laura said...

Sounds like she is a schitzophrenic who needs her meds.

 
At 10:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As a blue-eyed woman (not yours Miss Information) who recently experienced a stress induced mental health breakdown, I thank my lucky stars for all public service employees who take these patrons at face value. THANK YOU Miss Information!!

Best of luck with the final 2 and do keep on blogging after the degree is conferred...

 
At 11:46 PM, OpenID inksandthinks said...

Ah yes, she will return. Our conspiracy theory lady has been coming here for years. Sometimes she medicated and her ideas are only slightly wacked out and less people are following her. Fortunately, she doesn't drag her young child in with her anymore.

 

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