Saturday, February 06, 2010

Miss Information is annoyed by library fine avoidance procedure 17

It's almost closing time and Miss Information is alone on the desk. Of course, now would be an optimal time for an angry guy to show up with a ridiculous complaint. The guy has some overdue books. The guy is not paying the fine. Nuh-huh. No way. Not his problem. Nope. Not only that but he's thinking about filing a class action lawsuit against the library. Oh. He's going to become the library's worst nightmare. Really? Cause there's some competition....has he met the annoying journalist guy or the crazy masturbator? Anyway, this fellow's complaint is that the library didn't notify him until his books were a week overdue. He wants to know the next day. Obviously it's some kind of sneaky library way to make money...and he's mad as hell and he's not going to take this crap lying down. He's got a friend who's a lawyer. Yep. It's class action lawsuit time. The library is in big trouble now.

Miss Information is not a lawyer but she watches Judge Judy. She can't imagine this lawsuit has any merit what so ever. The library provides him with a date due slip that tells him exactly when his books are due. Also, she's guessing that his damages would amount to about 4 dollars, though since he's refusing to pay his fines on principle, he doesn't have any damages that Miss Information can see. Also by the way, library fines are not an income generating stream--they're meant as an incentive to encourage people to return stuff on time. The fines on the man's record wouldn't even pay Miss Information's salary for the time she's spent on this stupid ass conversation.

Miss Information points out that he has the option of getting a printed date due slip. That isn't the man's point! He's an ENGINEER! He has an IQ of 150! Swell. For the record, Miss Information thinks IQ tests are stupid and meaningless. She has also tested in the 150 neighbourhood herself and she can sure as hell read a damn date due slip. An engineer with a 150 IQ probably understands how a calendar works and can make the connection between "due" and "overdue". Do the VISA people phone him when he's a day late? Is he suing them too?

This total idiot completely wrecked Miss Information's day. She's thinking of suing him.

12 Comments:

At 1:02 PM, Blogger Jan Markley said...

Love your blog! Just found it.

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger Do You Come with the Car? said...

"Miss Information is not a lawyer but she watches Judge Judy."

This, my dear, might be one of the greatest lines in the history of blogdom.

 
At 1:22 PM, Blogger DesertDarlene said...

It always amuses me when someone blames someone else for a mistake that THEY made. C'mon people, take responsibility for your own incompetence.

 
At 9:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

These kinds of incidents caused our library to add this line to our brochure: "Overdue reminders are sent as a courtesy. Failure to receive one, for whatever reason, does not remove your responsibility for meeting the due date or paying subsequent fines. Failure to receive notices will not negate fines. You are responsible for keeping your e-mail and mailing address current with the Library District."

 
At 3:14 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've been reading your blog for a couple of months - you are hilarious.

Not to carry a metaphor too far or a pun too literally, but there has to be a book in this somewhere!

This respectful blog reader urges you most courteoussly to get off your ass and write that book.

 
At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a guy come in and freak out over the same thing a few weeks ago, although he wanted to get a phone call the day *before* his books were due. I told him that many calls would crash the library's automated calling system, and to my amazement he accepted this reasonable explanation.

 
At 4:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We DO send out reminders by email to everyone who gives us an email addresss. They still complain.

 
At 9:05 PM, Blogger Julie said...

Check out our latest library incident! http://iplks.wordpress.com/

 
At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The story of my life, articulated beautifully! Love your blog!

 
At 11:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Genial post and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Thank you for your information.

 
At 4:53 PM, Blogger Jedediah said...

That so reminds me of the guy who demanded that we send him a text message the day his books were due. He was outraged that we dared to wait two weeks until we send out the first reminder.
Responsibility. It's not for everyone, I guess.

 
At 6:05 PM, Blogger gerry said...

Someone suggested to me once that we pay him because he brought his stuff back early....I don't think that he was kidding, either.

 

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