Miss Information blames her cat for all thisMiss Information’s cat has none of the traditional standoffishness of her species. She absolutely adores Miss Information. As you may surmise from this, she is not the smartest of her species either. Every night her tiny little brain convinces her that Miss Information is not merely sleeping, but is, well, dead. Every morning Miss Information is greeted with a joyous acknowledgement of her continued existence—a veritable orgy of head-butting, cat kisses and raucous purring.
You can see how the rest of the day would be something of a letdown.
Yesterday she was supposed to meet the members of her latest annoying group project on the fifth floor of the library school building. Over the summer, the fifth floor was redesigned and is now the Centre for Deep Thoughts About Important Stuff. Obviously not a place Miss Information has ever been. The one thing she does know about the fifth floor is that you can’t get there from the staircase. She took the elevator. So far, so good. The space unfortunately was not occupied by her group, but by a bunch of eminent faculty members having deep thoughts about important stuff in the open area outside the elevator. Miss Information tried to beat a hasty retreat but the elevator doors had already closed, the stairwell was password protected and the only other room on the floor had a class in it. Miss Information opted for the elevator. She pressed the button and waited patiently. She eavesdropped on the professors’ deep thoughts and important stuff discussion. She decided to never become a professor. Just before she passed out from the sheer dullness of it all, one of the deep thinkers pointed out that the elevator doesn’t come to this floor—although it had let Miss Information out just a few minutes earlier—and that she had to go through the library to escape. Miss Information eventually found the door to the library (there are only 3 doors on the floor and she actually needed help finding the right one) and got the hell out of there but spent the rest of the day feeling like a complete idiot. She subsequently tried to realign herself with a step aerobics class only to find that it is now something called Zumba, which requires the participants to shake parts of their bodies rhythmically. It was a nightmare.
Fortunately Miss Information’s cat made a big fuss over her when she got home and this is why she may never leave her house again.