Thursday, April 10, 2008

Miss Information and the serial kisser

Miss Information found a condom wrapper in the government documents section today.
She herself has always found the government documents deathly dull. In fact one of her favourite things about the Internet is that so much of the mind-numbing tedium is confined there. Like a traffic accident, Miss Information is free to look away and so she does. What other consenting adults do with the government documents is none of her business.

Back when Miss Information still had some integrity (she remembers it well…it was a Tuesday, around 10-ish—good times) she took an interest (professional interest) in the government documents collection, weeding, labelling, etc. On these occasions she noticed to her great shock that someone didn’t find the publications quite so boring and had, in fact, left lipstick prints on a large number of them. Oh legislation about fisheries…how wonderful you are…let’s never argue again, my darling…Um, yes, sorry...kissing the government documents is just plain weird.

Miss Information suspected the government documents librarian, but the lipstick wasn’t really his shade.


At 7:09 PM, Blogger Stack Ferret said...

I've heard of foot fetishes and shoe fetishes, but a document fetish is just abnormal.

We have a government document called "Living With Houseplants". Is that really a challenge? Just put a box over them and refuse them water, and POOF problem solved. You can do that with roommates too, but you have to nail the box down.

At 10:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

...that, of course, and because my preferences tend towards standing orders and periodicals.

-- Government Documents Librarian

At 1:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Reader sometimes indulges in government documents, but for true satisfaction, you can't beat short story collections. Especially G. K. Chesterton and Flannery O'Connor.

The home handyman and herbal remedies sections are pretty good too.

At 1:16 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a (used) bookseller and I recently heard a tip from a (first-run)bookseller: shoplifters frequently stretch condoms over items because they apparently thwarts any security device that reads bar codes. Perhaps there was some attempted swipin' going on?


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