Saturday, December 15, 2007

Miss Information is annoyed by teachers

Teachers work for the government too. You’d think they’d have some understanding of red tape and budgetary problems and ummm…well, reality. Miss Information understands your pain. Reality is a major bitch. However, denying its existence and arguing endlessly with Miss Information about it doesn’t help. In fact, it just means you have an additional bitch to deal with. Arguing over the existence of stuff makes Miss Information really cranky.

Yes, annoying Teacher #1. You do have to pay your fines. You took out the books. You didn’t bring them back on time. That you are a teacher doesn’t give you special dispensation. Because you are a teacher and presumably smart, renewing your books should present no specific challenge. You can do that in person, online or over the phone, either by talking to a real person or by pressing buttons. See how easy?

No, annoying Teacher #2, the library does not have videos about French vocabulary for grade 7 children. Why would it? The library has movies with car chases and explosions. Miss Information is fond of movies with car chases and explosions. Maybe you could take the Borat DVD and use the French soundtrack option. Your students would probably learn new vocabulary and that would be sort of educational.

Well, annoying Teacher #3, it is too bad that the all the Kwanzaa music has been signed out already. It is that time of year. Maybe if you had thought ahead and not come in the day before you needed it…

Annoying Teacher #4 you need to keep better track of your stuff. That highly confidential student report card you left in the library photocopier was discovered by a library staff member and put away. Next time you may not be so lucky. And don’t get all snitty that the quiet study room isn’t available because someone is using it to write an exam. Shouldn’t you be happy that somebody somewhere is getting an education?

A lot of you get really whiny when you learn that the library doesn’t have your curriculum support material. Not to get picky about it, but the library doesn’t really know what your curriculum needs are until you show up at the desk demanding that Spanish language movie about the periodic table. First problem: who would make a Spanish language movie about the periodic table anyway? Second problem: if such a thing exists why would the public library want it? There is a belief that the library is filled with lofty and obscure academic material. This is wrong. The library is filled with books by Zane and DVD movies where stuff blows up. You know—things people actually want to sign out.

Miss Information suggests you harass the board of education library for your educational needs. Come to the public library for cool movies with car chases and explosions. An alternative plan would be to start teaching a unit on exploding cars. The library could give you a ton of exploding car movies, the kids would love it, you could somehow tie it all into physics and even better, Miss Information won’t get all stressed out trying to find you that curriculum stuff the library doesn’t have. Everyone would be so much happier that way.

11 Comments:

At 2:18 PM, Blogger Nina said...

When I got out of grad school, I negotiated my library fines down 70% by saying, upon demand "Though I was just awarded a Master's degree, I am fool wihtout the sense to renew her books."

I also got out of $323 worth of library fines at the school that is supposedly my PhD wagon, not by admitting I am a moron, but because their computer crashed so hard it couldn't recover the data on fines.

I am not kidding. They had no record of my badness.

How annoying am I?

 
At 7:22 PM, OpenID Woeful said...

How hot are you Nina? This could explain a lot. At a certain level this becomes more distracting than annoying...

 
At 5:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Reader (Who is himself quite annoying) thinks Miss Information might enjoy this short video:
http://www.whoisthemonkey.com/videos/01/funny-dumb-blonde-commercial

 
At 9:40 AM, Blogger No one asked us said...

I agree whole heartedly with you Miss Information. As a childrens librarian I have to deal with teachers all the time and I wonder just how it is that they actually got themselves organized enough to actually apply to teachers college and then show up for work.

 
At 10:04 AM, Blogger Angel, librarian and educator said...

It's those teachers who give the rest of us a bad name. I was a school teacher for a while. I never thought I could get off the hook on fines if I was late. In fact, I am the guy who comes to the desk and humbly asks if I can pay for the fine if I am late. What is it with people and lack of personal responsibility? Makes me feel sorry for the kids of those teachers.

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger DianeG said...

Oh no! You think that school libraries might have books teacher need.

I have no sympathy for library users who try to escape paying their fines. No matter who they are.

 
At 1:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

this post brings back memories; i used to work in a public library and teachers were the MOST annoying patrons of all. everything you describe and more: how about wanting longer loan periods and taking out every single book about castles??? arghhh, so glad i'm outta that job!

 
At 4:56 PM, Anonymous fencing librarian said...

And let us not forget the pompous attitude that often accompanies these demands: "I am an Educator!" (Ooooohhh! I'm shakin') "I can reach more kids in one afternoon that you can in a whole year!" (Didn't know this was a contest, but come to one of my programs and we'll talk then!) and, of course, the mother of all intellectual reasoning "This is the worst-organized library I've ever seen! Why don't you put things in by their title so we can find them?" (and watch with horror as the letters "A" and "T" expand to terrible proportions!)

 
At 10:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Socrates was an educator, and look how THAT ended. (Maybe a librarian said "That's IT. This scroll is LATE. Now you DIE.")

 
At 11:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A teacher came in to my library the other day asking how to find our copy of "Home Alone" for her special Ed class. I wasn't sure which was more horrifying, a teacher incapable of finding a movie shelved in alphabetical order by title or her showing that particular movie to her class. If anyone hears of a teen hitting another with a paint can ...

 
At 9:46 PM, Anonymous spinetingler said...

As a former teacher now library person, all I can add is "Amen. Preach it Miss I."

Actually, I will add that, in addition to everything that everyone else has mentioned, teachers also can't follow the directions for placing the furniture back in the correct order in the meeting rooms, nor do they think that the meeting romm rules apply to them (e.g., no taping big sheets of paper on the walls, no messing with the av equipment without consulting the media department, no dragging furniture out into the hall to make cute little display or registration tables, etc.)

 

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