Friday, December 07, 2007

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas violence

First and foremost it appears to be Act Like a Complete Prick in the Library Day. The children were celebrating the last day of school. Sadly, the last day of school is not actually for a couple of weeks. There is still the annual Library Parking Lot Fistfight to look forward to. It is scheduled for the last official school day. She hopes the kids don’t burn themselves out before that. Tonight, Miss Information rescued a boy from a beat down by a scrawny girl and then spent the next several hours regretting she that she didn’t just offer to hold the girl’s jacket till she had finished pulverizing the evil little bastard. It turned out that his idea of fun was to shout “rape” whenever the mood struck him, which was often. The girl was right—he did need to be kicked in the head. Live and learn.

Several hours later Evil’s friend attempted to electrocute Miss Information with a gag pen but he shouldn’t have bothered. Her will to live was long gone by then. Also having lost the will to live--one of the library fish. Dewey 7, one of a long line of short lived library fish all named after Melville Dewey, was discovered dead in his bowl earlier this week. Miss Information was away at the beginning of the week and so should have been spared the sight of poor lifeless Dewey 7—except that Dewey’s owner had taken a couple of days off, too. So, even though people noticed the presence of Dewey’s rotting corpse, no one bothered to flush the poor little bastard, who unlike Miss Information and her colleagues, had not willingly chosen to eke out his pathetic existence here, but had this hideous life thrust upon him by forces beyond his control. Poor sucker.


At 11:28 PM, Anonymous Woeful said...

LMAO! Priceless.

At 3:32 PM, Blogger Sam said...

Hi - as a librarian myself I find your blog very funny! However, I cannot find an rss feeder on your blog - do you have one?


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