Miss Information is annoyed by toddlersMiss Information has always felt animosity towards the under 5 set. The ones she’s related to or knows personally aren’t so bad. Miss Information gets a lot of enjoyment out of warping their tiny minds. Besides, you can be really sarcastic to them with impunity.
Up until recently it’s been one-sided and Miss Information has been winning. Suddenly, though, the toddlers have begun to fight back. The first incident occurred when Miss Information was minding her own business in a coffee shop. She had snagged one of the few comfy chairs and was planning to hang around for awhile. Then he showed up.
He toddled up to Miss Information’s chair. She didn’t want to seem like a total bitch (yet) so she said hello. The child didn’t respond verbally. He did respond, though. He began punching her. Repeatedly. Was it something she said? The child’s father was far from shocked. Instead of signing the kid up for military school, he walked away ignoring the fact that his child was pummelling a total stranger, and went over to the coffee counter, which was all the way across the room, behind a wall.
Since it was a busy downtown coffee place, Miss Information concluded that the guy didn’t really care if his child had its ass kicked by a total stranger. Sadly, her taser is in for repairs. Also—too many witnesses. She packed up her stuff and left without sustaining much damage. Thank goodness she learned that bob and weave manoeuvre in kickboxing class.
Later that week, a couple of women with a whole daycare centre’s worth of demon spawn came into the library. Even their mothers recognized they were evil. One of them was tied up--but unfortunately not handcuffed. He broke loose of his chains (well, a scarf) and began pulling Miss Information’s hair. Nobody touches Miss Information’s hair. Sometimes not even her. Hair care is so time consuming. His mother thought it was adorable. Miss Information was not as amused.
That taser better be fixed soon.