Thursday, January 27, 2005

Miss Information is annoyed about her birthday

It's Miss Information's birthday, damnit and she took the day off work to have fun, but instead she's in the garage waiting room (where they are playing exactly the sort of music that turns people into serial killers--broken-hearted girl singers--yep, if you weren't suicidal before you got here...) while her car completes its emissions test. She didn't realize that her car was due for testing this year--it turns out you really should read those notices the government sends you.

Miss Information hates her damn birthday. Nothing ever goes well for her. Situated as it is in the heart of cold, flu and blizzard season, she figures that at least a third of her birthdays have been postponed due to inclement weather. Easily another third have been spent sick in bed. This leaves the remaining third (and never mind exactly how many that is) which have just been stupid and annoying--like that time a couple of years back when she locked her wallet and keys in the car at the mall... Or last year (blizzard), when her small, but overscheduled family insisted on celebrating her birthday (presents, cake, everything) 1 day early, leaving her alone on her actual birthday to shovel the driveway and go to the eye doctor.

Thinking back, it is sort of disturbing how often she schedules car services and doctor's appointments for her birthday. What sane person does that sort of thing?

But never mind that, she also finds it very annoying that you all bought her gifts at post-Christmas sales--thus saving yourself a ton of money. She can tell, you know. When she opens those gifts she often says to herself "oh yeah, they must have gotten a really great deal on that thing". Not that she's ungrateful, she just reminds you that she pays full price for your gifts--you lucky bastards who have birthdays in civilized months like May and September.

Anyway the rest of her birthday will be spent as follows--get that emissions certificate (presumably her car will pass, after all she just had it serviced--when was it? oh, yes--Monday), then a quick painless trip to the DMV to renew her car registration, then off to a nice coffee shop to read in peace--except she forgot to bring her damn book. The one time in her life when she doesn't have a dozen or so books in her car... So perhaps a nice peaceful drive in the country, excet that she's almost out of gas and gas prices went up some ridiculous amount overnight.

Well, the day will pass--somehow and she can look forward to the traditional birthday dinner with her family -- which has now been reduced to her sister (who doesn't really speak to her) and one niece, everyone else having been put on the DL yesterday. If the weather cooperates she may meet friends for coffee later. If she survives all that fun activity, she can go to the late night yoga class where she can lie all twitchy in corpse pose for a while and think about how terribly old she's getting and how soon she will be an actual corpse.

On the positive side she does know the location of an almost full bottle of Irish whiskey...

But really, she's had it with birthdays. Next year she's definitely going to work instead.


At 1:25 PM, Blogger Cat. said...

Yes, bring out the whiskey indeed.

Maybe you should celebrate your half-birthday instead, in July.

Happy birthday. Late. Of course.

At 12:10 AM, Blogger Daniel H said...

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
We really appreciate your blogging,
Happy birthday to you!

Sorry to be a bit late.
- The Precision Blogger,
http://precision-blogging dot blogspot


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