Saturday, December 18, 2004

Miss Information is annoyed by a memo

Miss Information is still reeling from a recent policestate-esque directive requiring staff to smile at patrons. Really, they might as well ask her to fly, produce cold fusion, put together Ikea furniture or perform some other superhuman task.

But she is trying. Already she's progressed from vicious snarl to pained grimace. With a lot of practice and special tutoring she thinks she can perfect a wicked grin by the new year--which she figures fulfills the letter, if not the spirit, of the order.

That, however is as far as she's willing to go.

46 Comments:

At 10:50 PM, Blogger Chas said...

And what more could a library patron ask for? The wicked grin is easily the most useful of the grins. It not only purveys a sense of playful naughtiness, it implies the potential for a dangerous encounter. Excitement! Mystery!

Libraryee: Excuse me, Miss, where would I find the Der Vinki Code?
Librarian: *wicked grin* In FICtion, under BEE for BROWN.

Without the wicked grin, it lacks panache. When I go to a library, I want panache. My librarian doesn't know where to find it. I suggested fiction, she suggested google ;)

But, a small suggestion, if I may: Use the grin sparingly. In my line of work (I.T.), I find the best results come from associating various smiles with unpleasant circumstances. If someone loses their work: wicked grin, if someone crashes their computer: bemused half-smile with a slight chuckle. Once the association has been formed, Pavlov style, it takes but a small smile to instill fear and anxiety. A have perfected this to the point that a full beam smile can seriously dent a person's week.

If you choose to follow this path, expect the fascists to forward the "Staff are not required to smile" directive, which you can plaster on the wall behind your desk and direct patrons to notice.

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger Daniel H said...

I think a modest suggestion is in order. The office that issued the "don't smile don't tell order" should be expected to give you, DAILY, something to smile about.

- The Precision Blogger
http://precision-blogging.blogspot.com

 
At 10:41 AM, Blogger DAZED said...

Dear Miss Information - I may be a librarian soon too; my girl friend has already gone this route as it's a humble start here in Anchorage. Has it been warm enough for you lately? Well what can I say except you are missed and somebody somewhere probably needs you (have you aquired Esther's fishing equipment yet?) All the best - hang in there dazed (aka glazed, aka deglazed).



P.S. Why the F--- did I have to create a blog to post this comment?

 
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