Saturday, July 25, 2009

Miss Information is annoyed by the not-so-nice

It has been a week of wackiness at the nice library. A new librarian started and was immediately labelled a pervert by one of the regulars. Thanks Crazy Woman. You’ve saved Miss Information a lot of “getting to know the new guy and figure out whether he’s a pervert” trouble. Apparently this woman has a history of accusing library staff of various evil deeds. Miss Information is working with a pervert, a child molester and a serial killer. And they all seem so nice. Boy, does Miss Information ever suck at judging people.

While we are on the subject however, why does this woman keep coming back to a place that is filled with degenerates and criminals?

After hearing this story one of Miss Information’s friends replied that murdering people seemed like more effort than library staff generally want to exert. Please note: Miss Information’s friend said this. Maybe she agrees, maybe she doesn’t.

Another guy took his brand new library card over to a catalogue terminal and inserted it into the disk drive. “I thought it was like a bank machine,” he whined. Miss Information wanted to slap some sense into him but it was too close to closing time.

Her first customer on Saturday snarled at Miss Information because she misheard his request for the address of Planned Parenthood. She thought he said “Command Parenthood” which also seems like a reasonable possibility. She told him she couldn’t hear him over the voices in his head, but that didn’t help. It did cheer Miss Information up though.

The second customer was a woman with $38 in fines who whined that it was too much money. Miss Information suggested that the woman bring back her stuff on time. Also the lady doesn’t think she should have to pay the replacement price of the lost book on her record…because she lost the book. It's not like she still has it or anything. Miss Information hasn’t had enough coffee to cope with this sort of logic. Frankly there may not be enough coffee in the world.

Miss Information has 5 more hours left in this week. She hopes a plague of locusts closes the library early.


At 9:17 AM, Blogger SpeakUp Librarian said...

Funny post. Did you mean library card rather than library catalogue?

I especially enjoyed the misheard word at the reference desk. I'm a hard of hearing librarian and I'll have to remember your comeback the next time I need it.

At 12:52 AM, Blogger SweaterMan said...

Oh sweet Jesus, as an IT director, even I was called upon to bring out the magical tweezers this morning to remove a library card from one of the public PC disk drives.

And thsi, from a regular patron who has never done this before...

At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm always glad to find out that the weirdness is libraries is a common thread for all of us. (My dance card for the "Crazy Ball" is full, too.)

At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm always glad to find out that the weirdness in libraries is a common thread for all of us. (My dance card for the "Crazy Ball" is full, too.)

At 10:51 PM, Anonymous PhantomMidge said...

I had the library card in the disk drive thing a month ago, but it was a preschool kid who did it so I was prepared to cut him some slack. Until I found out that his mother had watched him put it in there and said and did NOTHING to stop him. Just watched him pop that sucker right in there....great parenting.

At 8:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I once had a patron tear off a "disk drive is not working" sign we had duct taped over the disk drive and insert his disk. Imagine the hysterics when he could not access his vital and only copy but then could not get the disc out of the machine.

At 2:31 PM, Blogger Misanthropina said...

I find the comment about librarians' not wanting to exert themselves a little amusing. I was recently in a library in (what I understand to be) Miss Information's town, though not at her particular branch (judging from other things she's said). Those people went way beyond what's normally termed "helpful", flirting with the world of "scary and stalkerlike". It's okay, folks, I work in a library too: please please please back the *&%$ off.


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