Miss Information

Miss Information gets to participate in the founding of a new sport

Miss Information has been distracted all week trying to straighten out a glitch in her acceptance to graduate school. It is particularly annoying because she was fairly certain this application malfunction had already been addressed. She has decided that graduate school is just like her one and only girly summer blouse—she irons the front, she irons the back, then she starts over again. Stupid girly blouse. If only her beloved Daniel Johnston t-shirt didn’t need laundering occasionally she wouldn't have these issues.

As she was firing off e-mails hither and yon in the vain hope that someone would help her solve this stupid-ass problem—the school one, not the ironing one, she heard the sound of flesh making contact with other flesh. She didn’t realize at the time, but this was the opening bell signalling the start of the pro-level version of Manhunt. Very similar to Manhunt, this game has the added appeal of random violence. How charming.

Miss Information named it “Girl Slap” to honour the teenagers who were the inventors of the game. “No, it’s ok,” one of them insisted when Miss Information suggested she refrain from slugging other people. “She’s my friend.” This made Miss Information very sad. Her friends only have coffee with her. Stupid underachieving friends.

Girl Slap despite its name, can be played by anyone. Female, male and intergender divisions are equally popular. Sure to be the new hit of the summer it is beloved by everyone. Except Miss Information. She just thinks it’s stupid.

posted by Miss Information @ 12:58 PM