Friday, July 04, 2008

Miss Information does not have that kind of time

Miss Information had another phone call from the guy who likes to argue with her about library hours. Just for the record—the library hours are what they are and arguing with Miss Information isn’t going to change anything. The conversations always start about something else, collections, services, whatever. At some point Father Time declares his intention to come to the library, if only he knew when it was open. From there it all goes downhill.

Miss Information tells him the hours. He accuses her of lying. Fun. To be fair, he doesn’t come right out an use the l-word, he says things like “I’m not sure that’s accurate” and goes on to point out that Miss Information has neglected to mention that the library is not open on Christmas Day or some such insanity.

Today the man is upset because Miss Information has given him the library’s summer hours. Well, it’s summer, duh. But the man has a copy of the library’s March newsletter which lists entirely different hours. Obviously Miss Information is a filthy liar. Miss Information tries to explain that the winter newsletter lists the winter hours. This is why the library also produces a summer newsletter. Nice as it is, the winter newsletter is not scripture and should be lining someone’s birdcage right about now.

The man does not care for inaccuracy of this sort. Neither does Miss Information. However he thinks it is worth arguing about for 10 minutes; she doesn’t have that kind of time.

Here’s a partial list of reasons why the library hours might not be exactly as stated in the newsletter:

Bubonic Plague
Power failure
Poison gas leak
Public holiday
Plague of locusts
Building collapse
Crime scene investigation
Hostage taking
Wombat infestation

Miss Information hopes that after she retires she can find a better hobby than arguing with library staff. Stamp collecting, perhaps.


At 6:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seriously does this guy have no life ?

Sorry and hope the weekend is better then today...

Happy 4th of July

At 7:38 AM, Blogger Deborah said...

There must be a medical term for this neurosis.

At 6:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

actually, miss information lives in Canada, so she celebrated on July 1st, but we wish all our American friends a happy 4th (and are jealous that you got a long weekend out of it, we just got Tuesday off!)

At 6:54 AM, Blogger dancer said...

Thanks, Anonymous, for the 4th of July wishes. I was lucky to have the weekend off, however, our library was closed on Friday only, and those who had to work will have to take the time off later...but it probably won't translate to a long weekend. I hope Miss Information and all of you "north of the border" enjoyed your Canada Day.

At 7:32 AM, Blogger Lisa said...

I had an idea Miss Information was Canadian. I had an idea wombats live in Australia. Maybe I have my former-British-Empire places mixed up?

At 1:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Tell him you have a 24 hour drive-thru window, but not at your location.

At 8:28 PM, Blogger Tonks said...

Lisa, as wombats have no naturally enemies in Canada, an infestation by them would be really, really bad. Possibly catastrophic. Certainly up there with Global Warming!
Note: The USA is also a former British Empire place.

At 5:45 PM, Blogger Kimber said...

I've just discovered Miss Information and I'm darn glad I did! Thanks for the giggle.

At 3:44 PM, Blogger The Nag said...

This made me laugh. When I worked in a politician's office I had two regular callers who would begin conversations with a totally reasonable comment or question which I would try to address then they would segue to the real ax they had to grind. One wanted the Drivers'License bureau reopened in Port Colborne. The other wanted her"job back and recompense, simple and compound interest."

At 6:58 PM, Blogger j- said...

I loved old cranks like this when I was a public library employee. One guy used to pound his cane on the ground if the library was late in opening, never once considering that perhaps his watch was fast. One day I told him we'd stay open three minutes after nine to make up for it.

He was not amused.

I never could figure out why he was in such a big hurry to get to those Abbott & Costello videotapes and loudly pass wind in the corner of the AV room.


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