Friday, March 11, 2005

Miss Information has an opportunity

Miss Information has a job interview on Monday. For a technical services job. You know, a job away from the public. A job with normal hours. The kind of job she's been dreaming about for years...

And yet she's not sure she wants it--because she's an idiot. She just doesn't handle change very well.

Also, job interviews--not really her best thing. She tends to show up at the interview pretty much the way she is in real life, although dressed better and with her hair combed. She makes lame ass jokes, she babbles a bit, she laughs at questions she's supposed to take seriously...but then, if she ever does get a new job (ha!) they wouldn't be surprised by her actual persona. She is an absolutely competent employee who would be a tremendous asset in any position--but she does tend to make bad jokes, babble and laugh at inappropriate moments. It's all part of the rich tapestry that is Miss Information.

What Miss Information Thought About in Corpse Pose
Speaking of laughing at inappropriate times, Miss Information had a fit of hysteria during corpse pose recently. The lovely and talented Yoga Boy was urging the class to relax and not worry about the little things--which he then proceeded to list: Don't worry about the stresses at work, don't worry about your family issues, don't worry about the bad drivers on the highway, don't worry about gas prices....and on and on. By the time he got to: don't worry about the line up at the bank and the funny noise your toaster is making, Miss Information lost it. She did try not to laugh audibly, though.

What the hell kind of yoga school did he get his training from?


At 10:28 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That must be the new yoga way. I guess it's more hip than "relax your knees, your shins, your ankles, the top of your foot, the sole of your foot, the big toe, the space between your toes..." which of course always makes me think, hey, how is that space between my toes? is it clean? i think it hurts! omigod, what's wrong with the space between my toes? Can't look now! Damn, how long are we going to just lie here!

At 9:46 AM, Blogger void said...

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Suess

At 6:26 AM, Blogger nikkormac said...

Miss Information should consider a career in literary criticism. no, i mean, like, professionally. She could work at home, all by herself, drinking real coffee, all day (and/or all night), and - this is the best part - have about ten brand new, never-used, never-read, never-opened-except-by-the-publicist-that-one-time-just-to-stick-the-press-release-inside-the-front-cover books arrive, on her doorstep, every single day that the book-toting services are toting books, at no cost to her whatsoever. then all she'd have to do would be read some of the books, voice her opinions thereon in writing (a task for which nikkormac thinks her more than a little well-suited), and collect her pay.

nikkormac knows a bit about this. nikkormac has been very close friends with a literary critic for something like five years now. he even lived with her for a couple of those years (to which period he applies the term "friends" but loosely).

really, Lady. i'm serious.

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