Miss Information is sick of smilingThese past couple of years, Miss Information has carefully managed her career with one single goal in mind. She has dressed badly, neglected combing her hair for days on end, and has chosen a job that channels much of the human interaction through electronic devices. All this has been to avoid appearing in public. So on Friday, Miss Information was a bit annoyed to find herself the morning speaker at a library conference.
Miss Information had a script that she inherited from the previous holder of the job. She had sensibly gotten out without ever having to use it. She was sincere, dedicated and professional and her presentation was full of important statistics, loads of documentation, and even a few significant references. She also dresses nicely and combs her hair and would have been an awesome speaker.
Miss Information took that beautiful presentation and ditched the Powerpoint. Miss Information bloody hates Powerpoint--thank you, grad school. Then she removed all the relevant stuff and added pictures of Matt Smith, Jimi Hendrix and Julie Andrews. Never let it be said that she doesn't pull her weight.
She arrived at the venue early and started smiling at everyone. She was trying to build good will. Then she began drinking coffee. She had 4 cups before her presentation started. She actually began sweating coffee right before her introduction.
She did her presentation and remarkably no one died. People she didn't know actually came up to her after and said they enjoyed it. Of course she had to smile at them. Basically she was trapped into smiling at everyone for an entire damn day. She must have looked like a scary cult member.
Her face still hurts days later.