Sunday, June 20, 2010

Miss Information is annoyed by an annual summer ritual

A few weeks ago, Miss Information's neighbours had a big loud party. Although there was variation earlier in the evening, between the hours of midnight and 3:30 a.m. when Miss Information inserted ear plugs, they opted to play and sing along drunkenly with only three songs. They were: Don't Stop Believing by Journey, I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas and something by Abba that Miss Information has blocked from her memory but let's just say it was Dancing Queen. It was hell. Even worse whenever the Journey song started (approximately every 15 minutes) everyone acted like they hadn't heard it for years and squealed with delight. It was like a spectacularly annoying episode of Glee.

So, Miss Information was overjoyed when these particular neighbours took over the planning for the annual block party. Miss Information hates the block party so she sends representatives instead of attending herself.

This year she was represented at the party by her nieces--Ms Information and the Duchess of Information. They had a great time. There was a fire truck and everything. Meanwhile Miss Information busied herself getting dressed up for an evening out. She put on her fancy summer outfit and fabulous shoes. While she was getting herself together one of the hunky firemen had decided it would be fun to open the fire hydrant and flood the street. This made it difficult for someone who was dressed in fabulous shoes to cross the road. Miss Information walked to a dry part of the block and crossed, followed closely by the Duchess of Information who was armed with a water cannon. Miss Information has no power over this child but asked her nicely to quit spraying her with water. It might have worked, too--except that the neighbours, who are such idiots that they can't recognize someone who is dressed for something nicer than a dumbass block party, started cheering her on.

"Get 'er, Duchess! Get 'er good! Good work, Duchess! Atta Girl! Soak 'er good."

Miss Information made it to her car, soggy and terribly upset. Ok it was just water and her clothes dried in an hour but she would like to believe that on a civilized block grown adults do not encourage little kids with water cannons to attack people who are dressed for a party.

Next year, she is taking her nice clothes in a bag and changing in a gas station.


At 2:08 AM, Blogger Dones said...

Next year you should probably plan a weekend out of town.

At 11:48 PM, Blogger Murr Brewster said...

Or, next year you could put your neighbors in a paper bag and gas them at the changing station.

At 1:29 PM, Blogger charlesm said...

Miss Information; This, your latest, blog entry is approaching Wodehousian dimension. That is to say; fabulous!


At 7:13 AM, Blogger Deborah said...

I had a similar experience a couple of weeks ago when our back yard neighbors hosted a loud party with amplifiers and karoake (sp? I don't really care). We hit our limit when someone began the Elvis impersonations. Called the cops. As luck would have it, the officer was someone my husband knew from his job at the sheriff's department who heard the music driving down our street. The music stopped soon after that. :-)


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