Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Miss Information is annoyed about...genealogists

Regular readers may be aware that Miss Information is annoyed by a great many things.  Most of them pale in comparison with the unadulterated irritation she experiences when dealing with genealogists.

Miss Information really really really hates them.  She sometimes hides from them.  She once upended a full book truck so one of them would stop talking to her, but as a public service she has written some rules for the genealogists who use her library.

1.  Don't come to the public library.  Really, if you're serious about your research you'd be better off at a specialized library or archives where staff are trained to assist you and would like to know all about your grandmother's second cousin Maudie who married a shepherd in 1756.  Miss Information can't imagine why you think she would be excited by this.  In fact, she's mystified that it impresses you and she's not paid enough to feign interest in the feeble lives of your ancestors.

2.  Don't complain that we don't have what you want.  There are libraries in the city that have better resources but apparently they were too far away and you came here instead.  Miss Information cannot help you.  In fact, she's using all of her energy to keep from bludgeoning you with a box of microfilm so please stop bothering her.

3.  Miss Information doesn't want to know all about your great great great grandfather Josiah who was the first person to wear cotton on the Isle of Man.  Neither do her colleagues.  So don't be telling library staff about your relative named John Smith who may have travelled with Captain Cook because there was a sailor named John Smith who was on his voyage.  This is your wild goose chase not theirs.

4.  If you are considering beginning research on your family tree, Miss Information urges you to stop before it's too late and you become one of "them".  Miss Information almost lost a family member to the horrors of genealogy.  It took many months of inpatient treatment at an expensive detox centre but now the long nightmare is over.  

Please think of your family.



At 4:20 PM, Blogger Stack Ferret said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 4:21 PM, Blogger Stack Ferret said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

At 4:24 PM, Blogger Stack Ferret said...

All you have to do is pretend to type on your computer, then say "According to, your great-grandfather fell off a turnip truck, landed on your great-grandmother, and well, here you are."


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