Miss Information is annoyed by overparenting
So, Saturday Miss Information is working
at the hellscape she likes to call the Teen Area. She answers the phone to a
panicky mother.
"My son is missing!" she says. "He was at
the library for some training and now he's missing! He's only
fourteen!"
When Miss Information was 14, she had a
job. She got herself there and back without help. She also used to go all around
town using public transit--sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. She also
used to walk home from school and stay by herself in an empty house. She never
set fire to anything. She was never kidnapped or murdered.
Miss Information doesn't think the
training ended that long ago and suspects that the kid is still here or even
more likely has gone to one of several nearby fast food restaurants to indulge
in substandard food. He's fourteen for goodness sake. He'll turn up. Still, it's
a new era--there are criminals and psychopaths behind every snowbank so one must
be vigilant. Miss Information tries to be sympathetic. She asks the mother if
the kid was supposed to be taking the subway or walking or what. The mother
doesn't have a chance to answer her call waiting goes off. She puts Miss
Information on hold.
When she comes back on the line she
reports happily that the child's father has found him. Miss Information pretends
to be very relieved instead of merely being grateful that her parents let her do
things without supervision when she was that age.
4 Comments:
He may have locked himself in a car trunk just for a break from his parents.
You have the best and most brilliant comments, I have read at least nine. Your spam bots are fresh and original, just the sketchy links I am most tempted to click. How do you do it, Unmarried Female of Information?
Dear Miss Information
I think you are hilarious.
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Thanks for amazing blog...:)
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