Miss Information's march towards decrepitude gains momentumMiss Information is old and falling apart. She had been putting off an overdue trip to the eye doctor because she sort of knew it was time for bifocals. At first the doctor disagreed but then he took a second look and yes, it is bifocal time! So, Miss Information is officially an old lady.
Yet, she is still very hip to technology. She has one a them fancy eReaders, so she's cutting edge, right? No one needs to know she mostly uses it for Agatha Christie novels and other old lady books or that she likes it because hardcovers are too heavy for her little old lady arms.
Sigh. In retrospect, the signs were there. She double-spaces after a period, even on Twitter. Only old people do that.
If she must be an old lady she's decided to be a cranky old lady. She figures that bifocals give her the license she needs to start telling the young'uns that their pants are too tight, their skirts are too short and their music is too autotuned. Also, she's decided to start yelling at children to get off her lawn. She likes this idea so much, she might actually yell at them when they aren't even on her lawn, because, you know, bad eyes.
She may be old, but she's not going down without a fight.