Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Miss Information's march towards decrepitude gains momentum

Miss Information is old and falling apart. She had been putting off an overdue trip to the eye doctor because she sort of knew it was time for bifocals. At first the doctor disagreed but then he took a second look and yes, it is bifocal time! So, Miss Information is officially an old lady.

Yet, she is still very hip to technology. She has one a them fancy eReaders, so she's cutting edge, right? No one needs to know she mostly uses it for Agatha Christie novels and other old lady books or that she likes it because hardcovers are too heavy for her little old lady arms.

Sigh. In retrospect, the signs were there. She double-spaces after a period, even on Twitter. Only old people do that.

If she must be an old lady she's decided to be a cranky old lady. She figures that bifocals give her the license she needs to start telling the young'uns that their pants are too tight, their skirts are too short and their music is too autotuned. Also, she's decided to start yelling at children to get off her lawn. She likes this idea so much, she might actually yell at them when they aren't even on her lawn, because, you know, bad eyes.

She may be old, but she's not going down without a fight.


At 7:54 AM, Anonymous Soos said...

Being a librarian actually MAKES you eyes get worse - the lighting is bad for reading both books and computer monitors. Add dust, mold and mildew, and if you didn't already have asthma, you'll get some other respiratory ailment!

At 8:22 PM, Blogger Kathy said...

At least now you can just smile and pretend you don't hear others. :) I think old women like to yell at kids!

At 7:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This post was actually sort of...Cute. You're losing your touch, Information.

At 12:58 PM, Blogger charlesm said...

Saturday, June 4, 2011

I say Nonsense! Anonymous... This post is fabulous as usual. Now, as someone who is turning into somewhat of a curmudgeon, (though very youthful in appearance,) I am in total agreement with Miss Information on the double spacing after a period thing. As the great Judith Martin, aka “Miss Manners,” once told me, in person, “I am not backing down on the blue-black ink thing;” that is, formal correspondence should be written in hand (preferably with a fountain pen), using blue-black ink, I am not backing down on the not, not double spacing after a period ending a sentence, etc. thing. Except for the period after an abbreviation such as the “etc.” in the previous sentence. And yes, I know that it was done because of the monotype of typewriters, but I don’t care. Okay, bye.

Sincerely yours,



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