Miss Information

Miss Information is annoyed by Excellerators

2012-01-28T13:43:00.002-05:00

After a protracted and annoying construction project, Miss Information's library has recently begun offering computer courses again. Oh. Joy. The following is a typical exchange:Patron: I want to sign up for the Excel workshop on January 31.Miss Information: Oh, I'm afraid all of our Excel courses are full until May. I could book you for the May 11 course if you like.Patron: How about the

Miss Information has a suggestion for IT

2012-01-11T17:02:00.002-05:00

The IT folk showed up today for an unexpected upgrade. They don't do advance notice, apparently. This morning Miss Information was alone in the workroom, a space with 7 computers that are shared by 20-odd staff members. An IT staff member sat down at one of the other workstations in the area and started doing something. She didn't say what but Miss Information cleverly deduced (by

Miss Information has a case of the crankies 1

2011-12-23T11:36:00.001-05:00

‘Twas the week before Christmas and the library is filled with crying babies and cranky patrons. Meanwhile Miss Information had the world’s most annoying trip to work. She drove and her car needs gas desperately but the city has strategically placed all the gas stations on the other side of the street with “no left turn into the gas station” signs. She finally made it to work, still needing

Miss Information has a case of the crankies 2

2011-12-23T11:27:00.003-05:00

(technically part 2, but it's chronolologically first because then you can just read from the top down)After Miss Information finally got to work, she had an encounter with Mr. Cranky. Last week library installed a new do-it-yourself check-in machine. It seems to be working ok. Sometimes a patron will get an error message. Mr. Cranky got an error message so it seemed like a good time for him

Miss Information is annoyed by the Christmas crankiness

2011-12-21T12:54:00.001-05:00

It’s Christmas so of course everyone is filled with the joy of the season. Well there was this one patron who wasn’t. She started off by telling Miss Information that she had the day off, making Miss Information terribly jealous. Miss Information has been bitter and cranky since she realized that Christmas gets her exactly one extra day off. Ho, ho, ho. The woman wanted to know where the

Miss Information is virtually annoyed again

2011-11-26T11:46:00.004-05:00

Miss Information was fortunate to be working in online reference this week when the library phone system crashed. With no other way to bother librarians, patrons turned to online reference to fulfill their needs. Most weren't bad. Lots of questions about why the telephone reference service wasn't working, the usual questions about why the website didn't recognize their card number. Then there

Miss Information is annoyed by the dishonest

2011-11-21T12:20:00.003-05:00

Miss Information doesn't always mind the patrons when they lie. Sometimes the things they make up are very entertaining. Other times she isn't so forgiving.Recently a woman called the branch. She was wondering whether the book she requested had arrived. Miss Information checked her card. What a miracle! The book was here. She told the woman the good news. The library would hold the book

Miss Information is annoyed by affection

2011-11-05T12:25:00.004-04:00

So, it's a real bummer that anyone should have to be at work on such a fine Saturday, but Miss Information is trying to make the best of it. She decided to treat herself to one of those delicious, overpriced Greek yogurts from Starbucks during her lunch break. She decided to take a book and just sit, eat, drink and read.She looked forward to it all morning. Really, it was the only thing that

Miss Information can't cope right now.

2011-10-19T12:59:00.004-04:00

So, here are some of the things Miss Information cannot deal with. 1. Change. 2. Making Decisions3. Spending MoneyThis past Saturday, she went car buying. She will never get over this. Never. See the last time she bought a car, the salesman was a brachiosaurus. Her car was just that old. In fact, she had planned to do this in 2009 but never got around to it. Sadly, recently the car has

Miss Information is annoyed by all the noise

2011-10-01T13:02:00.002-04:00

Miss Information has these days where she is just driven mad by any sort of noise. Wednesday was one of those days. For those of you who want to say something reassuring like "well, it's good that she works in a library, then", she would like to remind you that these aren't the 1950s. These are the days when anything goes in the library. Wednesday was one of those days, too.First thing...

Miss Information is annoyed by the nervous

2011-09-17T12:26:00.002-04:00

The library hosts a film club. Once a month a bunch of people get together to watch a movie and discuss it. It seems lovely and civilized. Miss Information has never been. The movies don't have enough explosions for her. She does have to field questions about the films, however."This movie, The Dresser? What's it about?"Before Miss Information converted to her policy of only watching movies

Miss Information is annoyed by mediocrity

2011-09-15T16:28:00.003-04:00

Sometimes Miss Information gets a little sad. This new branch is pretty pleasant and that's a good thing. It's just that all of those skills she's honed in her years of serving the unpleasant are all going to waste. Fortunately on Tuesday there was a screaming guy in the library.The man had apparently been screaming on another floor and he was being led out the door by the security staff and

Miss Information is annoyed by mediocrity

2011-09-15T16:28:00.000-04:00

Miss Information is annoyed by the uncertain

2011-09-03T12:43:00.002-04:00

"Where is that DVD I saw last time I was here?" asked the woman. Probably library staff all over the world react in terror to this question. See, you're making a lot of assumptions there, lady. We don't know when you were last here, we don't know what DVD it was and depending on whether you were here 6 hours ago or 6 years ago the DVD could be 1000 different places or a million different

The earth moves for Miss Information

2011-08-25T10:53:00.006-04:00

"I need your help," the woman said. "I need you to find me a book." Well, she probably said that. Miss Information wasn't really paying attention because there was a bloody earthquake taking place at the exact time the woman started to speak. The woman, who was about 6 inches away, noticed nothing and carried on with her reader's advisory question as if there were no natural disaster taking

Miss Information is feeling insecure

2011-08-22T13:12:00.002-04:00

You may remember a few weeks ago Miss Information finally learned the combination to the staff doors in her library. It was a moment of triumph. Almost immediately afterwards, the library decided to change to a key card system. They didn't come right out and say it but Miss Information suspects they realized that if riff-raff like her had the combination, the library was doomed. So, cards

Miss Information is annoyed by a suggestion

2011-08-13T12:23:00.005-04:00

"Hmph," says the woman. "You should get a cup of coffee." Now obviously this is a suggestion Miss Information wishes would be made more often. She should get many cups of coffee. However this woman was not suggesting a date or something friendly like that. She meant to imply that Miss Information in her decaffeinated state is basically useless. You probably figured that out from the "hmph".

Miss Information is annoyed by obsession

2011-08-06T14:14:00.002-04:00

The woman at the desk seemed a little off. Nothing Miss Information could put her finger on. Well, there was the gigantic fake gold chain but bad taste doesn't always mean crazy. Unless it does. The woman interrupted Miss Information who was with another patron but agreed to wait her turn. When her turn came along, Ms Flava Flav she needed the Jimmy Fallon movie Taxi. It's a sad thing but

Miss Information will get you and your little dog, too

2011-07-31T14:26:00.003-04:00

Another beautiful summer night. It would be perfect, if only Miss Information were not at work. Even worse, because it's a beautiful summer night, all the senior staff has abandoned ship leaving Miss Information in charge of the department. Still it isn't a bad night. Obviously the racist guy from a few weeks ago comes back. This time he's not so much racist as he is paranoid. A staff

Miss Information tells people where to go.

2011-07-22T11:10:00.003-04:00

Miss Information cannot give coherent directions. At work, when she is asked how to get to the building next door, she points, stammers and hopes they find it themselves. This week lots of people seem to need directions. On Wednesday there was a man who was looking for a specific address for a gem show. He'd come to the library because it was in the same district as the address. Unfortunately

Did someone say decrepit?

2011-07-20T08:37:00.002-04:00

Miss Information was noticing this week that her hair is more blonde than usual. Practically a white-blonde, in fact. Miss Information was putting this down to chlorine in the water, too much time in the sun, etc.Last night she went to renew her gym membership. She had a nice chat with the lady on the counter and with the gym manager. It all went well until the counter woman went to tally up

Miss Information is annoyed by the collective agreement

2011-07-09T12:09:00.003-04:00

So, Miss Information's morning started off badly. By the time she got to work she was tasering people with her mind and shooting lightning bolts with her eyes. It was not going to be a good day for the public.When she arrived at work she complained bitterly to her colleague that there was no clause in the contract covering crankiness. He suggested she take a sick day but she decided to tough

Miss Information is annoyed by Lady Gaga

2011-06-25T02:07:00.002-04:00

Lady Gaga doesn't usually annoy Miss Information. Well, she wishes Gaga would wear pants occasionally but whatever. Now, however, Gaga has gone too far. Miss Information managed to survive long enough for a vacation. She was getting a drive to the airport from her sister. Oh, there were some complications. Miss Information's niece was at a party downtown and would need to be picked up on the

Miss Information is annoyed by all the stupidity

2011-06-16T19:43:00.002-04:00

Miss Information has mentioned this before but just in case you missed it, she loves her eReader. New titles are readily available from the library. Ok, perhaps there were a few rough moments, but not that many. Actual books are more complicated.The patron who can't find her hold (obviously) disagrees. "The system is stupid!" she declares after Miss Information shows her how to find the

Miss Information is annoyed by cutlery

2011-06-04T12:10:00.005-04:00

The big library has 2 staff rooms. One is way upstairs and one is in the basement. Miss Information's desk until very recently was located on the ground floor so neither of the staff rooms were as convenient as a nearby coffee shopl. Even worse, you need a code to get into the basement one and the actual code had never been shared with Miss Information. After a few months in a place, it's

Miss Information holds out hope for less annoying patrons

2011-05-21T12:11:00.003-04:00

Miss Information is sick of people who can't figure out the holds system. It's not alchemy. 1. Place a hold.2. wait.3. When the library contacts you that the item is available come in and pick it up. See how easy?There are a few subtleties that patrons find difficult. First is the waiting part. Some clients place a hold and then hot-foot it to the library expecting the book to be there

Miss Information's march towards decrepitude gains momentum

2011-05-18T08:41:00.004-04:00

Miss Information is old and falling apart. She had been putting off an overdue trip to the eye doctor because she sort of knew it was time for bifocals. At first the doctor disagreed but then he took a second look and yes, it is bifocal time! So, Miss Information is officially an old lady.Yet, she is still very hip to technology. She has one a them fancy eReaders, so she's cutting edge, right

Miss Information is virtually annoyed

2011-05-16T11:58:00.004-04:00

One of Miss Information's duties is to staff the online reference service. Usually this is kind of fun. The questions aren't hard--people want to renew their items but can't find the renewal button. This is a bit strange because the renewal button is way easier to locate than the online reference link, which is cleverly hidden. In any case, that's about as hard as it gets. This week however,

Miss Information is annoyed by timing

2011-04-15T17:32:00.004-04:00

Yesterday the library hosted a big meeting and Miss Information got to see her friends from the other library--you know, the one where two different security guards were beaten up by customers? Oh, the memories.Miss Information took the opportunity to rave about her new branch--really nice customers, no problems at the computers, no fistfights, etc.Later that night as they were putting on their

Location, location, location

2011-04-13T12:42:00.003-04:00

When Miss Information graduated, she decided she didn't want a nice boring job. She's rethinking that decision. The new job involves too much stuff, too much information, too many departments and too much coffee. She feels like she's juggling babies this week--cranky babies.So, when she's at the desk for a public service stint, she just sits and twitches while trying to make sense of it all.

Miss Information is annoyed by mothers

2011-03-12T17:41:00.002-05:00

Miss Information tossed and turned much of the night. Work is stressful, but that's not why. Last night Kitty Information worked tirelessly on her hobby--keeping Miss Information's ears respectably clean. She takes her Q-Tip duties very seriously and was not discouraged by Miss Information's merely rolling over, because, hey, a different ear to lick!Miss Information arrived at work groggy and

Miss Information is an innocent bystander

2011-03-03T19:43:00.006-05:00

The new library has a group of patrons Miss Information refers to as the "Old Guy Film Club". They are old guys who borrow a lot of DVDs and like to discuss their various medical problems with the staff. There are several members of the club.So, Old Guy #2, the guy with the lists came in. He's the old guy with the endless list of movies he wants to check. Miss Information had gotten to

Miss Information is too tired for this

2011-02-24T17:30:00.003-05:00

Miss Information pulled a muscle at the gym last night and she's in a lot of pain. She hobbled in to work anyway. She has a lot to do. She recently became responsible for inputting data into the French literary awards section of the library's website. This involves transcribing the names and titles of the winners and finalists for a number of awards covering the past several years. The

Black history is far more complex than Miss Information had suspected

2011-02-02T08:50:00.004-05:00

Miss Information has had a tough week. There is some suspicion that she dissed a much-loved cultural institution in an article she wrote for the library. This has caused no end of trauma. Then she struggled mightily for about 7 hours on a job that should have taken 7 minutes. Stupid technology.Miss Information really needed a snow day--not that that's happening. In spite of snowpocalypse,

Miss Information gets a compliment...or does she?

2011-01-20T16:10:00.002-05:00

"You look like a very nice lady," said the old guy customer. Miss Information would have found this flattering if the gent's very next sentence had not been: "I'm legally blind and I can't use the catalogue."

The library is open. Please go away.

2010-12-29T11:20:00.004-05:00

Yesterday was the first day the library was open after Christmas and Miss Information can only assume that most of the patrons got lumps of coal in their stockings based on the massive amounts of free-range crankiness that were on display. Seriously, people, go home and be irritable with your families. Isn't that what Christmas is all about?It didn't help that the library computers kept

Another year gone by and still Miss Information is not psychic

2010-12-23T11:14:00.003-05:00

Miss Information was stationed at the aptly named Information Desk last night. This desk is conveniently situated so that Miss Information has the best view of people floundering helplessly with the self-checkout system. Last night she became aware that there was a young woman standing motionless at one of the terminals. She wasn't doing anything, not pressing buttons, not looking around

Miss Information makes a bad decision and is subsequently annoyed

2010-11-22T13:46:00.002-05:00

Miss Information went to her first librarian's meeting today because she's a librarian now, you know. It was a bit of a letdown. Miss Information had always assumed librarians' meetings involved debates about classification systems, gossiping about clerical staff and jello shots--not so much debating, though. Unfortunately it was just like a clerical meeting, except more discussion of

Miss Information is perplexed by a computer message

2010-11-13T13:34:00.001-05:00

Miss Information is having a quiet night at the desk. She suddenly noticed an error message on one of the nearby Internet terminals. She went to clear it, thinking this would be an easy task. This is what the error message said: “There has been no activity on this computer for 5 minutes. To continue, acknowledge this message within 30 seconds. Yes. No.”Miss Information was stumped. There

Miss Information is annoyed during a power failure

2010-11-08T15:14:00.000-05:00

Miss Information can't believe she has to explain this to anyone over the age of 4 but elevators run on electricity. Today there was a power failure in the big library. It only lasted about 20 minutes but Miss Information lost track of the number of people who waited in the pitch dark for the non-functional elevator. So, how do they think elevators work? Solar? Wind? Batteries? Miss

Miss Information is relieved

2010-11-05T15:01:00.002-04:00

Miss Information up to now has been disappointed with the clientele in the new branch. They are almost insanely civilized, polite, decent. Miss Information can't work with these people. There was only one exception in her first week. A woman complained that the display unit was "low rent". Really? And how much did we charge you to come in, Your Grace? Of course, it turned out she was not

Miss Information is annoyed by button pushing

2010-10-24T15:52:00.002-04:00

Miss Information has a recurrent nightmare where she has forgotten to push a very important button. She often wakes up on the other side of the bedroom looking for the button. It must be here somewhere and if she doesn't push it right away something very bad will happen.One night this week she must have looked for that button all night long. Not just any button, one of the dreams clarified.

Miss Information is puzzled by priorities

2010-10-09T19:28:00.002-04:00

Miss Information does not rebound well. Something goes wrong, gets in her way, throws her off track and she becomes paralytic. She admires people who can carry on with their lives as though nothing happened. Like the patron she met this week.The patron came to Miss Information's attention because she was having trouble with the automated check out. Miss Information went over and helped her

Miss Information is annoyed by the clueless

2010-10-04T13:48:00.002-04:00

Miss Information's new job has a lot of good things going for it. She now gets paid to write stuff. Every day! She lives in fear they will discover how much fun she's having and put a stop to it, so she tries to look miserable and stressed out. Really, though, this is like the best job ever.She still has public service duties at the new big scary branch and though the customers are generally

This is the reason why

2010-09-18T16:22:00.004-04:00

Lots of people ask Miss Information why she still works at the library when it seems to annoy her so much. Well, the library has a lot going for it. First there isn't too much danger of developing black lung disease. Second, the people who work in libraries are great. They are all eccentric and weird. Some of them have more cats than you do. They are all funny and cranky, sometimes

Miss Information is annoyed by the airport

2010-09-11T12:26:00.002-04:00

Oh, Miss Information had almost gotten over Snow Globe-gate. She was back home safely and all was forgiven. It was tragic, therefore, that she had to go back to the airport a couple of days later to pick up her sister and nieces who were returning from their vacation. Miss Information had the flight information. They were flying on Flaming Projectile Airlines, flight number 666 arriving at

Miss Information is annoyed on vacation

2010-09-02T13:27:00.002-04:00

Has Miss Information ever mentioned that she hates flying? Probably. It isn't so much the actual travel as the seemingly endless waiting in airports. Do they go out of their way to make airports dull? Well, on Miss Information's flight home, there was a brief moment of excitement as she foolishly tried to take a souvenir snow globe (gift for Miss Information's niece) through customs. She had

Miss Information is moving on

2010-08-13T12:40:00.000-04:00

It is Miss Information’s last day in her first librarian job. She still doesn’t really feel like a librarian, though. Maybe she never will. School did not really prepare her for the sorts of things she’s had to deal with at this branch. She is going to suggest the faculty add classes on how to dispense quality reference service while your teenage customer is busy adjusting his junk. Today a

Miss Information is annoyed by a grandmother

2010-07-31T14:08:00.003-04:00

Up until Friday, Miss Information was less than thrilled with librarianship. She missed her previous job a lot. As the reference desk clerk she got to meddle in everyone's business, picking up the slack, taking over librarian jobs if they were left unattended and criticizing everyone and everything. She was a complete asshole and it was wonderful. Now she's a librarian and organizational

Miss Information is annoyed by a teenager

2010-07-29T17:09:00.001-04:00

The new library is on two floors. Circulation and other useful parts of the library are downstairs. Reference is upstairs. Today, the library is relatively peaceful. A youth approaches the desk. He mumbles something about having to pay fines and get a new card. Miss Information excitedly describes the new library program where the young ‘uns are able to get a coupon to exempt them from $10

Miss Information is undone by an old nemesis

2010-07-16T17:02:00.002-04:00

Timing is a hideous troll with sociopathic tendencies. This is why a job Miss Information has always worshipped from afar suddenly became available after she had been a librarian for only 20 minutes. This is why she spent part of today—day nine in the new job—interviewing for a different new job. Life is strange.The interview followed the standard format. Sensible questions, incoherent

Miss Information is not feeling challenged

2010-07-15T17:10:00.001-04:00

Miss Information started her new job (as a librarian!) last week and is in the “let’s not scare the new girl” phase of orientation. Instead of actual assignments, the recent recruit spends time “getting to know the collection”. For some reason all libraries seem to do this. Miss Information once asked a former supervisor why. She replied that it was mean to overwhelm the new people with

Miss Information has been wanting to say this ages

2010-07-10T15:48:00.003-04:00

Miss Information has left the nice neighbourhood library. She enjoyed her colleagues at this branch but has never met a group of people less interested in going home at the end of the day. It was very frustrating for Miss Information on those nights when she was on “last out of the building” duties. Every other branch Miss Information has worked in, closing time is a signal for library staff

The earth moves for Miss Information

2010-07-05T13:42:00.005-04:00

Tomorrow Miss Information starts her first official librarian job. This is the story of how she found out. Shortly after arriving at work recently, Miss Information got the phone call offering her a new job. Her immediate reaction was to begin worrying about this lifestyle change. Typically for Miss Information, she was sitting with one leg curled under her because sitting like a grown up

Miss Information is annoyed by an annual summer ritual

2010-06-20T12:47:00.003-04:00

A few weeks ago, Miss Information's neighbours had a big loud party. Although there was variation earlier in the evening, between the hours of midnight and 3:30 a.m. when Miss Information inserted ear plugs, they opted to play and sing along drunkenly with only three songs. They were: Don't Stop Believing by Journey, I Gotta Feeling by Black Eyed Peas and something by Abba that Miss Information

The nice neighbourhood surprises Miss Information again

2010-06-19T12:50:00.004-04:00

A few weeks ago, Miss Information reported on an incident where a patron complained that Miss Information was too germ-ridden to touch her precious library card. It turns out that not all of the users are phobic about dirt.It began, as so many dreadful things do, with a cherubic child approaching the desk. "I have something to tell you," she announced gravely. "Oh, yes, what would that be,

Miss Information is annoyed ceremonially

2010-06-08T12:47:00.002-04:00

For the past 5 deeply traumatic semesters, Miss Information has sworn up and down that she will not attend her graduation/commencement/convocation. Then she learned through the grapevine, that her mother would be heartbroken if she did not witness the whole stupid thing. Miss Information got the message and invited her 9 year old niece, Ms Information, to come as well.On the day of the event,

Miss Information has a terrifying glimpse of the future

2010-05-31T17:05:00.005-04:00