Miss Information is annoyed by an author visit
Miss Information woke up with an evil bastard cold and the knowledge that due to circumstances beyond her control, she was conducting today’s author visit. She decided to make the most of it and dress female for once. She must have been feverish.
The program got off to a bad start when she neglected to unlock the outside doors based on the assumption that people coming to a library program would come through the library. Bad mistake. Among those unable to get in was the author himself who was a really good sport about it. Eventually a woman came in and glowered at Miss Information until she got the message.
Her hopes of making friends with the regulars now abandoned, she introduced the author and sat down. He was funny. The audience was responsive. A little too responsive maybe. One gent in the first row kept asking questions. The author didn’t mind but the lady in the second row took exception. She started out by quietly glaring, then moved on to swearing. It was then that Miss Information noticed that the woman was holding her pen in a particularly menacing way and she began mentally composing the incident report which was sure to follow. Great. Miss Information gets to do one program in her life and it ends in a stabbing. Perfect. The man must have sensed something because he suddenly ran out of things to say. Good idea, pal.
And the author? Miss Information liked him. She must have. About 30 minutes into the presentation she realized she was flashing him. Stupid low-cut shirt.
Miss Information is annoyed by school
Miss Information is back at school and she has a couple of complaints beyond the usual one of not understanding what anyone is talking about. For some reason this isn't a problem that has had any negative impact on her academic success. Go figure.
Here's the biggest annoyance. The school year started on a Wednesday. This throws everything off. Week one for some classes was last week. For others week one is this week. None of the professors bothered to figure out actual dates for assignments and readings preferring to label everything week two, week three, etc. Miss Information has lots of assignments due week three, except that week three means different things to different people. She decided to think of Wednesday as Monday as a workaround. Unfortunately the professor for her Wednesday class sometimes wants things handed in on Tuesday. The way Miss Information understands it, the same Tuesday has to exist in two different weeks for this to be possible. So, she has an assignment due Tuesday Week 5 which is October 6. She has two other assignments due Tuesday week 4 which is also October 6. This is bound to destroy the universe isn't it?
Second thing: One of her professors has set up a Twitter feed for the class. The way he explained it, this will allow the students to tweet during the lecture. One of the TAs will monitor all this tweeting and pass on questions to the professor. Miss Information has a question. She wants to know why a bunch of people in the same lecture hall can't just speak to each other--verbally, like. Since she doesn't have a Twitter account her question may never be answered.
Well, it was a full moon...
It was Friday. The woman had a question. Sigh. That's how it always starts. Her question didn't make sense to Miss Information but that happens a lot too. The question was something along the lines of: what does "wear rags" mean? Miss Information tried to get some context or clarification but the woman kept repeating the same thing.
Eventually Miss Information did some kind of secret library clerk magic (aka a Google search) and suggested that some people considered used or damaged clothing to be rags. Ahhhh
...the woman was satisfied. Now (now?) she decided to be all friendly and chatty. She didn't have a lot of money and sometimes purchased used clothing. That's probably why her luck was so bad. Oh, yeah? Her fortune teller had instructed her not to wear rags. It was all so clear now. The woman was terribly grateful that Miss Information was able to translate her fortune teller's message. Yep. Miss Information was also happy. Or disturbed. Whatever.
As she left, the woman glanced at Miss Information's t-shirt, which displayed a beautiful map of the London Underground. The woman was shocked and appalled. She wanted to know the meaning of the shirt. The what? It was a message, right? Miss Information was trying to tell the woman not to take the subway today. Obviously the shirt was a warning, right?
Nope. Miss Information's shirt was merely a reminder that she spent the summer at school and didn't go on any fabulous vacations. In retrospect, this may have been a mistake.