Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Miss Information’s Co-workers are annoyed by Miss Information’s absence

With Miss Information away on a badly needed vacation (honestly, the woman was driving us all crazy these last few days: excitingly pointing out various hotel websites; leaving travel guides strewn about the Reference Desk; wondering what shoes she should take; endlessly dithering on whether or not to buy a now-permissible iPod for the plane; etc.), those of us left holding the fort here vowed to carry with her cheerful brand of misanthropy.

For example: this past Saturday at the library.

A typical summer’s day here: hoards of children under eight left unattended, transfixed for hours on end by YouTube videos on the Internet workstations. Then a miracle -the server suddenly went down freezing every single workstation in the place. When it became increasingly evident the connection was not going to be re-established any time soon (of course this didn’t stop anyone from staring blissfully at their empty screen for more than an hour), the children began slowly emptying the library. Sad, dejected little children, their hopes and dreams cruelly crushed by bitter adult truths. “Is the computer ever going to come back on?” asked one cherubic little waif, tired of waiting but terrified of the world outside. “Nope. Never.” was the sweet, venomous reply. Sighing, shrugging, the darling little urchin and his ilk left.

And then, like fabled libraries of yore, there was a genuine silence in the air.

As is customary when these things happen, which is not often enough, well-worn signs were gleefully taped to each and every monitor: “Our computer network is currently down. We apologize for the inconvenience. In the meantime, we suggest you get a life”. For two and a half hours there was a glimpse of the Paradise which awaits us. The server was down and librarians were allowed to be librarians once again. And, of course, no one came to the desk. No one - not a single living breathing human being. For two and a half hours.

Within nanoseconds of coming back on line, the absent children (who evidently had been hibernating behind the book stacks), scurried out like roaches to grab any available workstation and resume their mindless fun. With their smug little smiles of satisfaction they silently taunted us: “You may hate our guts, but if we weren’t here you’d be out of job mister”…..

--Scooter (guest blogger)


At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny!

At 10:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are quite funny. Are you considering having your own blog or are you afraid of the competition? If no, hopefully you'll make many guest appearances in Miss Information's blog.

At 7:42 AM, Blogger Delta said...

Whew! I was not looking forward to 2 Miss Informationless weeks while she was off gallivanting around God-knows-where. It's good to see she's called in some competent backup to keep us entertained in her absence.

At 1:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank yuo Scooter. Many of up have come to rely on Miss Information to help us stay sane. For example, how far down the loser scale do you have to drop before the only way you can feel power is to concoct ways of preventing library staff from going home after the library has closed. There are the classics: holding up in the toilet, photocopying your thesis, perusing pamphlets in the lobby but last night..."I have to wait inside the front lobby for my wife to pick me up"(and I am too frighted to stand on the other side of the door).


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