Thursday, August 24, 2006

Miss Information doesn't have to deal with A.D.D. kid -- yet.

While Miss Information is busy petting koalas, her co-workers must deal with the newest addition to the zany library family: the insufferable A.D.D. kid. So named because of his endearing habit of getting up every minute or so from his computer workstation (longest stretch of time seated: 2 minutes 39 seconds), wandering aimlessly around the library, then returning to his seat, but more often than not, a completely different workstation. His age is indeterminate: somewhere between that hazy netherworld of annoying child and more annoying teen.

Since strangulation and blunt force trauma are apparently against the library’s posted “Rules of Conduct” (who knew?), various coping mechanisms must be employed by staff members to keep from going insane and/or staying out of prison. One particularly helpful strategy is to make the kid’s time here a living hell. For example, once his computer time is used up for the day, any additional time he may use depends of the availability of workstations. Ergo, ensure that NO computers he sits down at are available by pre-booking them for non-existent patrons. This sends him into a dizzying frenzy of helplessness and torment.

Additionally, it is enormously satisfying to use a strictly “measured” (some bleeding hearts may say “disproportionate”) response to the teeny tiniest infraction of the aforementioned “Rules of Conduct”. Tapping your fingers? That constitutes “disruptive and intrusive behaviour” in my book – out you go for the rest of the day.

Although most sentient beings subjected to such treatment may realize that their presence is no longer welcome and perhaps, you know, never come back -- it matters not a whit to A.D.D. kid that librarians are shooting telepathic death rays of hatred towards him.

Loud, twitchy, gangly A.D.D. kid stands his ground, hanging around the library from opening to closing-- determined to waste his last remaining days of summer vacation to the fullest.

-- Scooter (guest blogger)

14 Comments:

At 1:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I take offence to this blog. Being an ADD adult and librarian myself, I feel that "shooting death rays" at a kid that can't help himself for being hyper is just wrong. Do you have nothing better to do then be an unprofessional hater?

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger Marvelous said...

HAHAHAHAA the anonymous comment was just classic. Hey Miss Info., I very much enjoy your blogging. keep it up. And I'm soooo thankful for not being a librarian. And if I ever become one, I wouldn't wanna be one like that ADD adult, so not fun at all. Your librarian days sound exciting!

 
At 12:38 AM, Anonymous Anony Miss said...

...oh, come on. The kid's annoying; it was a funny blog. If it makes you feel better, he's probably not even really an ADD kid, just bored and hopped up on dollar store chocolate.

 
At 9:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay, who is guest blogging for Miss Information? Is it the tree hugging librarian or is it the decor obsessed librarian? Is it both?

Miss Information's coffee buddy.

 
At 9:41 AM, Blogger Bibliophile said...

I really do love this blog and usually find it hilarious. I too, have a good laugh at others, and cringe in annoyance when stuck with needy children, but like Anonymous, I found this post less funny and more offensive.
I really hate when librarians are up-front with kids about why they are being kicked out, and instead anonymously boot them from the computer... especially if it is suspected that he has a disability.

 
At 7:57 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

ADD A & L: I hope you'll be dealing with ADD kids constantly since YOU would know how to handle them. RIGHT. Loooove your guest blogger!

 
At 11:31 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

NM Most library workers are a whole lot of fun and really interesting, good natured people. Unfortunately, this is not always mirrored back. One insufferable kid or one comment from some one with no sense of humor or who takes themselves too seriously can really try our patience. Thank goodness we have Miss Information.

 
At 12:02 PM, Anonymous elder said...

When it comes to dealing with patrons displaying 'disruptive and unruly' potential ... let he, or she, who is without sin here cast the first stone. If you have never once shot a death ray at a patron, even in privacy, silence or under the cover of darkness, fine. Otherwise let Scooter blow off some steam in peace. This wonderful blog is vital to the mental health of those of us in the system. Blog on!

 
At 12:35 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

When is Scooter going to blog some more? I've been wondering if the A.D.D. kid has come back.

 
At 6:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

How sad that the kid was dropped off at the library with nothing to do. Obviously no one at home cares about him and you who are employed in "public service", work to make his day a "dizzying frenzy of helplessness and torment".

Remember, loser, what goes around comes around.

 
At 7:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Almost EVERY child dropped off at the library exhibits ADD behaviour.

 
At 4:38 PM, Blogger Nike said...

It's not our job as librarians to entertain one patron.
And if the child was disruptive then how long before the rest of the patrons complained?

 
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